"You can't put 10 pounds of shit in a five-pound bag."—Sally Field tells Howard Stern why she did not enjoy The Amazing Spider-Man 2, and why she had no interest in reprising the role.
Clearly, being involved in a sex-tape scandal is the path to fame and fortune. It foisted the Kardashians upon us, and it just helped Hulk Hogan make $115 million ( and more to come ). The wrestler/reality star sued the gossip site Gawker for posting a video of him having sex with the then-wife of his former best friend ( with friends like that... ). Allegedly, Hulk didn't know he was being videotaped by his paramour's husband ( yes, you read that correctly ), nor does he know who leaked the video to Gawker ( but I think we could guess ). I followed this case with great interest. After all, the closest I ever got to being sued was a cease-and-desist letter from Colin Farrell's lawyer when I posted his sex tape. In that case, Colin obviously knew he was being filmed—he was shooting the video! And, he has absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of—as you can see on a site that shall remain nameless.
Now, an update on a story regarding Caitlyn Jenner—and trust me, I hate typing that name as much as you hate reading it. Since her recently bashing of Hillary Clinton and heaping praise on Ted Cruz, Jenner's tune has changed. First, Cait posted a photo posing with Hillary—a meeting Jenner described as "awkward." Not a big surprise since Cait said, "I would never, ever, ever vote for Hillary. We're done—if Hillary becomes president, the country is over. What has she done? She's a fucking liar! She's a political hack. That's all she is. She's done nothing." Hard to go from that to saying, "Excuse me, Hill—could I get a photo with you?"
Cait also clarified some statements about Ted Cruz. Cruz appeals to Jenner because he's a constitutionalist and likes to follow the letter of the law. It's kinda like if James Madison teleported from 1787 to 2016. Of course, there's a downside to having your morals aligned with the 18th century, which Caitlyn acknowledges: "I also feel that as far as the LBGT community, he would probably be the worst—and would need the most help." That's where Jenner would come in, should the Cruz camp want to make Cait the trans ambassador to the president of the United States. But Jenner is disappointed at the response from the Cruz camp: "Have they contacted me? No."
Here's the worst-kept secret in showbiz—Xena is gay. DUH! Although the character's sexuality was never directly addressed on the show, Lucy Lawless became a lesbian icon over 20 years ago. But times have changed, and with the reboot of Xena: Warrior Princess being produced by NBC ( yes, a real network this time around ), the subject of her sexuality has come up again.
Writer-producer Javier Grillo-Marxuach isn't beating around the bush ( so to speak ): "There is no reason to bring back Xena if it is not there for the purpose of fully exploring a relationship that could only be shown subtextually in first-run syndication in the 1990s." He also made it clear that this is not a revival—it's a reboot. So get ready to see new actresses playing Xena and Gabrielle. When asked if she would have played the role again, Lucy said, "I really don't see that. I'm probably not up for that gig. I can't imagine how you could tell the story with me at 47 years old and make it work." That said, she's disappointed to have not been asked to be involved, saying, "I've never received a call about it. It's nothing to do with us, honestly. ... I'd love to be a part of that, but even if I'm not, I wish them well." Gracious to the end.
How is it that Sophia Loren plans to tour the United States and I know nothing about it? La Loren will be interviewed onstage before the floor is opened up to a handful of questions. The 11-city tour finds her in casinos, theaters and even Vegas. While none of these cities coincide with my travels, you can see her in Chicago, Las Vegas, West Palm Beach, Sarasota and Clearwater, Florida. Ticket are $30-$175, and there are a few meet-and-greet tickets. Get ready because what I'm about to say will shock you—tickets for the meet-and-greet are $750! But, how often do you get to meet Sophia Loren?
While we're talking Italy, an Italian soccer player has posted a number of nude photos. Fabio Ceravolo is a striker for Ternana—whatever that means. He's also a notorious ladies' man with a much-discussed sex drive. So, one assumes these impressive selfies were intended for several women. But why should they have all the fun? You may not be able to touch, but you can most definitely look ... at BillyMasters.com .
Our "Ask Billy" question came from Clyde in Pasadena: "What is going on with Marcus Schenkenberg? You never see him anymore. I heard he had some major plastic surgery to hold onto his looks. Any truth to that?"
More than just a little. Two years ago, one of the most beautiful men on the planet underwent what is known as a vampire facelift. It's a twist on a normal facelift, except the patient stockpiles his own blood to be injected into the face during the procedure. It's also known as Dracula therapy, but I don't think you'll find either of these names approved by the FDA. Marcus had this procedure in the Bodenseeklinik in Germany, where the procedure was developed. Ironically, his "before" photos are my goal. Check out Marcus' results at BillyMasters.com .
When I'm considering making a sex tape with the undead, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Be sure to check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that's always looking for new blood. If you have something you'd like me to uncover, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Ted Cruz poses for a photo with Caitlyn Jenner ( I dare him ). So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
