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  NIGHTSPOTS

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2016-02-10

This article shared 3618 times since Wed Feb 10, 2016
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"Reporter Amanda Hess, in a story published Monday, acknowledges she wrongly wrote that 'one in three Black men who have sex with me is HIV-positive.' In fact, the statistic applies to Black men 'who have sex with men.'"—The Washington City Paper corrects a typo. It's amazing the difference in meaning caused by a dropped "n."

In years to come, youngsters will ask, "Where were you on Jan. 30, 2016? What was it like living through such a dark period in U.S. history?" Yes, I am referring to what will forever be called the Great Grindr Blackout of 2016! For a scant few hours, the noted gay hookup app was on the fritz—and I don't mean on some horny German guy in lederhosen! Some people got a "Server Error" message, some people got nothing. It's bad enough being horny and alone—but when even your app ignores you, it's downright tragic!

A fistful of gay rumors have been making the rounds about Marco Rubio. One columnist claims that young Marco was often described as a "very extroverted homosexual"—like that isn't redundant! Prior to his 19th birthday, Rubio was arrested for being in a park after closing time. Nope, he wasn't drinking with some friends. According to records, Rubio was in a parked car ... with another boy! Angel Barrios, said other boy, recently told a reporter, "We were there just hanging out." Maybe. But it should be noted that Barrios had a more recent run-in with the law—he was sued for running a gay-porn studio!

Rubio was certainly a looker in his day. A shirtless photo of the high school lad shows him onstage vying for the title of King Cobra 1989 with a group of guys that allegedly "combined the Chippendales with The Village People"—a winning formula replicated shortly thereafter by 98 Degrees! However, it's another photo that disturbs me—one that allegedly shows Rubio at a foam party at Miami's Warsaw Ballroom. While I'm not sure if it's Marco, I'm fairly confident I spy someone else frolicking in the foam—your very own Billy Masters! And, if I'm not mistaken, it was at that very party where I lost my favorite Fossil watch!

Aaron Schock has never been one to miss an opportunity to flaunt his fantastic physique. Perhaps he could cash in on his muscular paycheck and wipe out the debt he's run up with the legal firm that helped him navigate the waters of his disgraceful exit from Congress. The gay-porn company Titan Men, is willing to pay Aaron's legal bills up to $1 million if he will make a series of films for them. Perhaps he'd be more comfortable if they allowed his "personal photographer" to work on the crew ... or, perhaps, the star.

Very often, plays will warn patrons that strobe lights or other special effects will be employed. Well, the Broadway production of A View from the Bridge might want to issue a warning that the sight of actor Russell Tovey's torso can cause euphoria, lightheadedness or fainting. That was the case last week, when a male patron quite literally swooned when he found himself a few feet from the talented thespian. To make matters worse, he was one of the few patrons seated in on-stage risers! Someone yelled out, "Is there a doctor in the house?"—just like in the movies ( well, not very good movies ). Three people tended to the man until EMTs arrived, and whisked him out of the theatre. The man, Davin Cutchall, had driven six hours to see Tovey's torso ... or, perhaps he just wanted to see the play. Regardless, Davin tweeted: "@russelltovey Sorry for disrupting the show tonight. I'm feeling better, now. You were great!." Apparently, he was healthy enough to attend the Sunday matinee performance—but he wisely sat in a less obtrusive seat!

In other heart-stopping theatre news, Dolly Parton just purchased a dinner theatre in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. The newly christened "Dolly Parton's Lumberjack Adventure Dinner & Show" is just a hop, skip and a jump from Dollywood and is slated to open in May. "I'm truly excited to be working on a new show for families to enjoy while they are in town. We did a lot of work to come up with the name of the new show and I think we found the perfect fit." Which begs the question—what were the rejected monikers?

It's been a couple years since the divine Charles Busch trod the boards in one of his outrageous spectacles. But he hasn't been slacking. In fact, he's been touring hither and yon with his pianist, the delicious Tom Judson, entertaining the masses with his cabaret show. Good news—Busch is returning to the stage with a new creation, appropriately titled "Charles Busch's Cleopatra." Needless to say, Charles will be playing the Queen of the Nile—fitting, since he has such a lovely asp. His Caesar will be the equally appealing Tony Sheldon, who was in the Broadway musical Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Cleopatra opens March 22 at the Theater for the New City in NYC. It's a limited one-month run, so grab your tickets fast at SmartTix.com .

Our brief "Ask Billy" queery comes from Jason in Virginia: "Have you heard about nude photos of River Viiperi?"

First, I need to let my readers know who River Viiperi is. He's a 24-year-old Spanish model who dated Paris Hilton a couple of years ago. And you know what that means—he's had his shots! Professionally, he seems to be featured whenever an ad requires a hot, nearly naked man. But the photos we've uncovered go beyond nearly ... he's simply naked. Actually, he's naked and aroused. And somewhat "slick." And they clearly were taken in River's bathroom. If a photo is worth a thousand words, then check out a few thousand more at BillyMasters.com .

When we're identifying penises by tile patterns, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Let me remind you that Feb. 13 is the birthday of your beloved Billy. In lieu of gifts, check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that doesn't look its age ( and neither does Billy—in a dimly lit room...filled with foam ). If you have a question of your own or want to send me a birthday greeting, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Vicki Lawrence ( Schultz ) records "The Night The Servers Went Out At Grindr." Or, before Rubio gives me back my watch! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 3618 times since Wed Feb 10, 2016
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