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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2015-12-23

This article shared 3681 times since Wed Dec 23, 2015
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"No one forces me to lose weight. I force them to force me."—Carrie Fisher clarifies exactly who forced who to lose what. Alas, her weight loss meant scrapping the scenes where it's revealed that Princess Leia's real father is actually Jabba the Hutt!

Another member of our tribe is using his power to help get Hillary Clinton elected. Ricky Martin proclaimed Hillary is "a Latina at heart" as he launched the "LGBT for Hillary" group. Supporters can join for a minimum donation of $1 by simply texting the word "RICKY" to 47246. I'm guessing Ricky will be seeing those texts, so feel free to send any hot selfies to that number, as well.

Since we should provide equal time, a former SeaWorld employee has started a rival group called "Gays for Trump." Admittedly, it's a small group. Kyle Kittleson says, "Long before Hillary Clinton supported equal marriage and gay rights, Donald Trump supported equal rights for everybody. Granted he didn't want it to be called marriage, but he did advocate for unions with legal equal rights." From my cursory review of Trump's LGBT track record, it seems he's made conflicting statements about gay unions. But, I'm sure he's got lots of gay friends—Melania's makeup artist, his hairdresser, all of Ivanka's friends, etc.

Months can go by without a Margaret Cho item. But this week, we've got THREE! Let's start with the one I told you about months ago ( hmmm, I'm sensing a trend )—E! announced that Cho will be a permanent co-host on Fashion Police. Her duties begin when the show returns to the air Jan. 11 for the Golden Globes recap.

She's also signed a deal with Amazon to return to series television. In Highland, her character is a former addict who leaves rehab and moves in with her family, who happens to be running a pot dispensary. Presumably, hilarity ( and munchies ) will ensue.

Lastly, Cho is taking aim at the Absolutely Fabulous movie, slated to be released July 1. Her problem is with a character described as a Japanese fashion designer named Huki Muki. The role is being played by a Caucasian actress, and Cho is outraged, saying: "#YELLOWFACE is racism. Sorry. It's unacceptable. Not now. I was thrilled about the @abfabmovie but now I just can't be. I'm very disappointed. It's hard enough to get into film and TV as a person of color—and when roles written for us are played by white actors—it's an outrage." Of course, the film was written by Jennifer Saunders, who presumably had a hand in the casting. It's possible that having a Caucasian designer with a Japanese name ( and perhaps raised in Japan ) may actually be the joke.

In television news, Netflix has announced plans for a third season of Grace and Frankie. The Lily Tomlin/Jane Fonda series has already filmed a second season, which will be released at the beginning of 2016.

Netflix has clearly figured out what works for them—projects with old ladies. So, they've put up the money for an original movie that will star Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler and Diane Keaton. Nope, it's not a sequel to The First Wives Club. This new film, Divanation, is about members of an old girl group who reunite after 30 years. Think of it as These Old Broads meets Josie and the Pussycats.

That's a perfect segue into my last installment of "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions." This time, we're focusing on the gift of music. What could be better than celebrating the holidays with Darlene Love? The perennial David Letterman favorite has released her first solo CD in years, ironically titled Introducing Darlene Love. In case this is your first exposure to the powerhouse vocalist, prepare to have your socks blown off. With songs written by Bruce Springsteen, Joan Jett, Elvis Costello, and more, this is a collection not to be missed.

If you'd like more than your socks to be blown, check out the new CD from the singing string quartet Well-Strung. These boys are a few of my favorite things, and they have released a collection of pop/classical combos called POPssicle—get it? Pop and classical. Oh, they're not only sexy and talented—they're clever! And did I mention they're sexy? You can buy their CD and find out when you can see them in person at Well-Strung.com .

If you want something to stuff your own stocking, look no further than our very own Matt Dallas. He's starring in a Web series called Anne and Jake, about an inventor in 2014 who is inspired by Back to the Future and brings a woman from 19th-century England to the present time. Think of it as Downton Abbey meets The Time Traveler's Wife—alas, without Eric Bana. Still, I'm always happy to see Dallas and his schlong in some snug briefs. You can check out the fully packed footage on BillyMasters.com .

This brings us to the case of the missing foreskin. Eagle-eyed fans of actor Max Riemelt ( Hands? Anyone? ) noticed a difference between his nude scene in the film Freier Fall and in the Netflix series Sense8. I know some of you are wondering, "I've never heard of any of these things." Be that as it may, Max plays a gay cop in the film. In his shower scene, he is obviously uncircumcised. But in a nude scene from the series, he appears to be circumcised. In my expert opinion, he is still uncircumcised but just somewhat aroused, which gives the illusion of being cut. Others say he may have gotten circumcised to land the role, but I believe that's only a stipulation to be cast on Dancing with the Stars. Whatever the reason, you can see the results on BillyMasters.com .

Let's end with a nude Brit. Our "Ask Billy" question this week comes from Tony in San Francisco: "I heard that Ben Hardy did a play in London where he was completely nude and was enormous. Do you have any photos?"

Ben Hardy, best known for EastEnders, did the 2012 West End revival of The Judas Kiss, which also starred Rupert Everett. If he looked impressive onstage, there's a good reason. In an interview with Attitude magazine, he said, "I was fluffing myself in the bathroom before." To see the sizable results, check out BillyMasters.com .

When a hot guy in a play with Rupert Everett has to fluff himself, it's definitely time to end yet another column. While I check to see if hell has frozen over, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that will also turn up the heat. If you have a question, you best send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Ricky Martin returns my text. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 3681 times since Wed Dec 23, 2015
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