Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-03-03
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2015-01-21

This article shared 4842 times since Wed Jan 21, 2015
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


"I'm not playing the race card. I'm playing the rice card."—Margaret Cho Tweets a response to people who felt her Golden Globes appearance was racist. She also said, "I'm of mixed North/South Korean descent—you imprison, starve and brainwash my people, you get made fun of by me."

In a recent interview, Graham Norton discussed how difficult it is for gay men to find love. His analogy reminded me of a line in The Boondocks ( don't ask ): "A Black woman of a certain age is more likely to die in a tanning salon fire than find true love." This tied in with a revelation from our own Raven-Symoné. She said that in order to appear "blacker" while shooting her show That's So Raven, she used to go to a tanning salon three and four times a week. And that, dear readers, is how Graham Norton is like a Black woman.

One of my special keepsakes is a silver key ring from Tiffany given to me from he who shall remain nameless. At the time, we had a disagreement about boundaries: He felt that even though he gave me his keys, I should still call before I came over; I felt that I could come and go as I please ( and go through all of his belongings ). I returned the keys. Because acquiescing is the only way to remain in a relationship with me, he gave me back the keys ... on the Tiffany key ring. That beau is long gone and all that remains is the key ring ... and a restraining order. This stroll down memory lane was prompted by a story about that icon of fine jewelry, Tiffany. For the first time in the company's 178-year history, they are featuring a same-sex couple in an ad promoting wedding rings. I'm sure any day now Home Depot will run a similar ad promoting a bridal registry.

Nine million years ago, Joan Rivers gave me a signed copy of her will "for safe keeping." Alas, this is an old draft that is completely invalid ( but I bet worth a small fortune on eBay ). I thought about this while reading her last will and testament and discovering that she was as generous in death as she was in life. A portion of Auntie Joan's estimated $150 million estate is to be donated to some of her favorite charities, including God's Love We Deliver and Guide Dogs for the Blind. Bequeaths were also made to a handful of relatives ( her grandson Cooper and sister's two kids ), her assistants and some close friends. The rest goes to daughter Melissa.

Kathy Griffin's debut on Fashion Police was a mixed bag. While she was as caustic as ever, her quips were more zingers than actual fashion critiques. What's more interesting is the gossip behind the scenes. I hear that the numerous personnel changes ( both on camera and off ) were "strong suggestions" from Griffin before she signed on the dotted line ( although I must say that the addition of Brad Goreski was pretty seamless ). But some feathers were ruffled when Kathy sequestered herself leading up to the show. She didn't want to rehearse or even discuss her jokes in advance. "I'm a different human being. ... I'm more improvisational. I don't know what I'm going to say, and neither does anyone else on the panel." This baffled her co-stars, who not only felt out of the loop, but hurt that Griffin eschewed spending any time with them—including skipping a network-arranged dinner so they could get to know each other. Since everyone was in the dark, Giuliana ( the de facto host ) prepared more jokes than usual ... just in case. Because, when I think of comedy, I think of Giuliana Rancic!

Someone who isn't laughing is executive producer Melissa Rivers—the person Kathy credits with bringing her onto the show in the first place. Griffin said, "Melissa called me and she said, 'I know that my mom would have given you and you alone the blessing,' and that really was it. ... Melissa was Joan's world. Everybody knows that." And yet, we hear that Kathy kept Missy entirely out of the loop and made all of her suggestions directly to the network brass. The result? The ratings were down 26 percent from last year's post-Globes show.

It was a good week for Matt Bomer. First, he won the People's Choice Award for Favorite Cable TV Actor ( White Collar )—a niche category if ever there was one. Then, he won the Golden Globes for Best Supporting Actor in a TV Movie ( The Normal Heart ). This double whammy led to HBO greenlighting the long-gestating biopic on Montgomery Clift. The network is set to rush the flick into production so that it can air before the end of the year ( perhaps leading to another win at the next Golden Globes ). This could be filling the slot of the adaptation of Terrence McNally's Master Class with Meryl Streep, which was to be directed by the late Mike Nichols.

Then there's that oft-rumored-about actor who was intent on deflecting gay chatter that was resurrected by that claim of fraud. Look, I'm as gay as they come, and I loves me a set of titties. Heck, one of my best friends is Jenifer Lewis, and she's ALL about her titties!

It's official—Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are getting a divorce. It's also true that Mariah will be filling in for Celine Dion and taking up residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. You know what that means? No all-you-can-eat buffet on the strip is safe!

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Warren in New Hampshire: "I just saw 'Zulu' and couldn't believe that was Orlando Bloom. He was SO buff and grown up. Was that his penis near the beginning? Sure looked like it."

I love a question that makes me do some research—especially when I'm looking for a hot guy's penis. First, you're right—Orlando Bloom was VERY grown-up and buff. He kinda looked like the love child of Eric Bana and Hugh Jackman! As to his penis, he's given conflicting reports about it. Once he said he was wearing the infamous "cock sock." Another time, he talked about walking around the set naked. You decide for yourself by watching the scene on BillyMasters.com .

When we've gone from the Boondocks to Zulu, it's definitely time to end yet another column. What range. What diversity. What titillation. And it can all be found on the new www.BillyMasters.com—the site that never skimps on skin. If you've got something on your mind, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Graham Norton actually becomes a Black woman. Until next time, remember one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 4842 times since Wed Jan 21, 2015
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

NATIONAL Lesbian bar closes, COVID survey, trans lawsuit, Andy Towle
2021-03-07
The Toasted Walnut—a lesbian bar in Philadelphia's Gayborhood that was refuge to queer women for the past five years—will close for good, according to an Eater Philly item that cited Billy Penn. The bar had been ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-03-01
"Bridgerton is like a guilty pleasure, but it's like if The CW decided to go the route of Masterpiece Theatre."—Nathan Lane during a recent appearance on "Virtual Halston" with the divine Julie Halston. When does "no ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-02-22
"Life is about building bridges, not walls."—Elton John, when criticized for performing at Rush Limbaugh's 2010 wedding. Something I say all the time might have also been a good response: "A gig's a gig." Rush Limbaugh ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-02-15
"It was the worst 90 seconds of my life, for sure."—Stormy Daniels, while on Michael Cohen's podcast. She also revealed that she first met El Presidente in 2006 at a golf tournament in Lake Tahoe where ...


Gay News

Stage Left Theatre announces new Literary Manager
2021-02-13
--From a press release - Stage Left Theatre is delighted to announce Bobbi Masters as our new Literary Manager. She is an artist/educator with a passion for new work who has been involved in various phases of new play development throughout ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-02-08
"Go back on the elephant you came on."—Priyanka Chopra Jonas reveals an example of the bullying she received in school. Ironically, when she married Nick Jonas, she rode into her wedding on the back of...you guessed ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-02-01
"I am happy to report that today, I took my dear friend Jo Anne Worley to get her first COVID-19 vaccination! Not only that, several nurses and doctors recognized her and came over to the car ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-01-25
"I was too innocent and too GAY to deserve a Pardon from Trump."—Joe Exotic. It was the crazy stretch limo sitting outside the prison that made me laugh. Like there's a pardon, and POOF, he could ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-01-18
"Honey … when you got talent, you don't need all this shit."—Siegfried Fischbacher (of Siegfried & Roy) to Bette Midler, after she commented on the magical duo's high-tech show. (The story was related to me by ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-01-11
"Harry Styles is looking REALLY good. I'm into the fishnets. And we have very similar tastes. I think sharing a closet, sharing a life together, it just makes sense."—Miley Cyrus. I'd rather see Harry with Miley's ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-01-05
"Gay man has too much to drink and legally changes name to Celine Dion."—New Year's Day headline from England. Not only is it embarrassing, it's woefully out of date. I mean, Celine Dion—how retro! I know ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2020-12-28
"Although self-isolating may at times be hard, many people of all faiths—and of none—are discovering that it presents and opportunity to slow down, pause and reflect in prayer or meditation."—Queen ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2020-12-21
"You are a weak, scared, stupid, inept, negligent, vindictive, narcissistic, criminal. I hope you live a long life in prison where you become the most popular boyfriend to all the inmates."—Debra Messing's tweet to El Presidente. ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2020-12-14
"I don't agree that only gay actors should play gay. … I don't agree with having to laser focus the casting of it all, or else you'll be playing yourself the rest of your life."—Juan Pablo ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2020-12-07
"You're assuming that I'm completely straight. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. And it's frankly none of your business."—Viggo Mortensen responds to a reporter's question about whether he should be playing a gay character in Falling."Wh ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.