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  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
Special to the online edition of Windy City Times
by Billy Masters
2014-12-24

This article shared 4024 times since Wed Dec 24, 2014
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"Straight men, I think, like to look sexy, too ... especially if they're going on a date with potential of, you know, whatever, having fun in the back later!"—Isaac Mizrahi explains to a designer that just because a man is straight, he still wants to look good. Of course, we know gay men like to look sexy—especially if there's the potential of sex in the back!

We're ass-deep in Hanukkah, and Christmas is right around the corner, with Kwanzaa breathing down its neck. I'm back in Boston to spend the holidays with my family. Until then, I'm finishing up some last-minute shopping, making merry, being gay—in other words, same ol' same ol'.

With each day that passes by, I am getting oodles of e-mails from readers suggesting who NBC should cast in next year's The Music Man—Live! People—I am not in charge of casting. Anyway, I hear that those plans will likely be scuttled. The production was to be led by Neil Patrick Harris, who has quite a bit on his plate with a variety show, hosting the Oscars, and being a ventriloquist on American Horror Story. Anyway, NBC would rather find a show which would appeal to children. Although Oliver was near the top of most people's list, Cameron Mackintosh has locked up those rights for his own film. But that's OK, because the next potential project is The Wiz. As one insider told me, "It's not like there's even an acceptable film of it. That was such a disaster, this wouldn't be a remake—it would be setting the record straight." As proposed, this multiracial "Wiz" would include a number of young pop singers, which could perhaps bring in a younger audience.

Elton John and David Furnish just got married. What? Weren't they already married? Not exactly. They became domestic partners when England allowed them on December 21, 2005. When the UK legalized same-sex marriage in March, many people assumed the twosome would quickly dash down the aisle again. But the boys bided their time. Why? So that their new anniversary date and the old one would match up, silly! And so, they tied the knot again Dec. 21 at their estate in Windsor. Huzzah!

Margaret Cho and her hubby Al Ridenour are divorcing after almost 12 years of wedded bliss—although, it does seem like it was more bliss than actually wedded. Cho was very candid about the couple being in an open relationship. She has said, "I think when you have an open relationship, you have to have boundaries, but ultimately, you want emotional monogamy with somebody no matter what." Alas, too many somebodies made the waters mighty murky. On the positive side, Cho will be on TLC's late-night sex talk show called All About Sex as a co-host alongside my buddy Marissa Jaret Winokur starting Jan. 10.

For those of you on the lookout for your next ex-husband, you might wanna check out the dashing Robbie Rogers. Wait, wasn't he the boyfriend of TV mucky-muck Greg Berlanti? Well, he was. The two have gone their separate ways—but not before the soccer player secured a deal to turn his memoir into a sitcom. ( Thanks, Greg. )

We just learned that Nick Jonas enjoys oral sex—when it's performed on him by a bloke. This revelation comes at the end of the end of the season finale of the almost unwatchable Kingdom, where Nick consistently gives a flat, monotone performance reminiscent of a young Tara Reid—no offense, Tara. In this scene, he is going to a club while wearing a hoodie—which presumably makes him look more "street." Since he's clearly wasted, he's denied entry. As he walks away, a man of man of color follows him. They end up in an alley where the pursurer drops to his knees and services Nick—I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me ( and, I'm sure, Miss Reid ). It didn't take the pious Jonas long to quickly transition that promise ring into a cock ring—one must admire his versatility. He says that he has no problems with the upcoming gay sex scenes for season two. I, too, have no problem with them—bring it! For now, you can see his post-club experience on BillyMasters.com .

And now, one last installment of "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions." Since you have no time to waste, I am limiting this week's suggestions to things that can materialize immediately. One of my favorite comics is the talented Christopher Titus. Throughout his work—both as a stand-up and on his eponymously named sitcom Titus, Christopher has stood up for the gay community. He's like the big, tall straight guy you got to walk into gym class with. ( Oh, yeah—like I'm the only one. ) For the past year, Christopher has been touring the country with a new show called "Angry Pursuit of Happiness." Unlike his previous show, I had nothing to do with this one—in fact, I saw it for the first time via digital download. So head on over to ChristopherTitus.com and order the digital download. For $9, you get close to two hours of one of the most hysterical, exhausting, exhilarating, and thought-provoking comics at the peak of his talents. If you ain't in a rush, the autographed DVD is $20. You're welcome.

Of course, the gift that keeps on giving is a membership to BillyMasters.com . I'm completely engulfed with our redesign and I am shocked at how much this new site will do—and yet it will look eerily similar to the old site. And that leads us to our last "Ask Billy" question of the year. Josh in San Francisco wrote: "Have you noticed that the new opening graphics to The View look very much like your site? Maybe someone over there is a fan."

My connection to The View is long and deep, so I know I have my fans. I certainly don't hold the trademark on mixing yellow, blue and orange. But it is an interesting mix that one doesn't see often. I take it as a compliment.

When I'm being copied by The View, it's time for me to fight with my colleagues and end yet another show ... er, column. I've got to crack the whip because we're still working 'round the clock to start the new year with a brand new www.BillyMasters.com—the site that's always fresh ( and sometimes a little naughty ). But even with all of that on my plate, I still have time to answer your questions. Send them along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we get a video of Nick Jonas having some fun in the back. So, until next time, remember one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 4024 times since Wed Dec 24, 2014
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