"Well, @guardian, it makes for a nice change. .. at least I didn't wake up to the internet telling me I was dead again."—Patrick Stewart's Twitter response to "The Guardian" announcing that he's gay—which, as it turns out, is untrue. But, in many ways, is indeed a compliment.
It's just been announced that Uma Thurman will take on the starring role in Anita, a biopic about anti-gay activist Anita Bryant. ( She would be completely inappropriate in a film about Anita Hill or Pointer. ) I know many of you will find it ridiculous that I have to even explain who Anita Bryant is, but I have a very young fan base. Anita Bryant was a singer and former Miss Oklahoma who had a hit with the song "Paper Roses" long before Marie Osmond. She also was a popular television personality who was a spokesperson for the Florida Citrus Commission throughout the '70s. But that all came to a crashing halt in 1977 when she spearheaded a movement to repeal an ordinance that made it illegal to discriminate against gay people in Florida. So you see, Florida's been like that for a long time!
Bryant's group was called "Save Our Children," which perpetuated the myth that gay people are also pedophiles. Why, I make sure everyone I sleep with is of legal drinking age. ( Alcohol is gonna be involved sooner or later. ) Bryant was successful in having the anti-discrimination ordinance repealed. What I discovered while researching this story is that gay bars around the country started boycotting orange juice and began marketing a new drink—the "Anita Bryant," which was vodka and apple juice ( which sounds positively dreadful ). She traveled around the country helping other cities strike down anti-gay discrimination laws. That led to the infamous episode in Des Moines when someone threw a pie in her face on live TV. Her response? "At least it's a fruit pie." Oh, there's that famous Bryant wit! Say what you will about the crazy old girl, I bet her life will make one helluva movie! Plus, who hasn't wanted to throw a pie in Uma Thurman's face?
One of our most visible gay stars is Neil Patrick Harris. With How I Met Your Mother leaving the air, he's able to return to the Broadway stage. When Hedwig and the Angry Inch opens April 22, it will also be helping to raise money for LGBT youths. The producers will donate a portion of all ticket sales to the Hetrick-Martin Institute, the home of the Harvey Milk High School in NYC. This is not the first connection between the show and the organization. The 2003 CD Wig in a Box: Songs From and Inspired by Hedwig and the Angry Inch was a benefit for the organization, and the 2006 documentary Follow My Voice put a spotlight on the school. Bravo!
Last week, I found myself spending some time with design Bob Mackie, so I just had to ask him about Cher. I had seen photos of her in a really hideous multicolored cat suit and had to ask if he had designed it. Bob was shocked—how did I not hear about the whole Cher-Mackie "break-up?" Clearly, I'll have to turn in my gay card. Just before the opening night of the tour, Cher tweeted the following ( I'm taking out all her CAPS to spare you the annoyance ): "Telling you something that has broken my heart. The man who made all my costumes since 1972 decided he couldn't do my last tour. No matter how disappointed any of u are, you don't know my grief. I'm sure Bob can't know how much I miss him. Felt I had to tell u I'm crying. I tried to convince him to end with me, but he had many reasons as 2 why he couldn't do it. 2 many obligations. Not enough time even 2 do 1."
Needless to say, a designer of Mackie's stature has quite a bit on his plate—including a line of furniture, linens and clothing on QVC. But even with all of that, he was excited about doing this project. Although the tour was announced last September, many of the specific details weren't coming together in enough time for him to design a wardrobe worthy of both the Mackie and Cher name—especially for a tour called "Dressed To Kill!" But have no fear—there is NO break-up. The two are still good friends and I hear that Cher will once again don Mackie—sooner rather than later. Bob did say one thing that made me laugh: "When Cher tried to convince me to end with her, I said, 'End? I'm not going anywhere!'" While discussing this situation on Today, Hoda Kotb gave Cher a philosophical way to look at it: "He'll do the next one. He'll do the next final tour!"
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Keith in New York City: "I was just watching the 48 Hours Mystery and they ran a story about a wrongly imprisoned guy named Ryan Ferguson. WOW—he's like porn-star beautiful."
Oh, I remember that case. At the time of his arrest, Ryan was a 17-year-old who had been out drinking ( illegally ) and was then accused of a murder he didn't commit. He was convicted and has sat in jail for the past 10 years. His case would occasionally pop up on 48 Hours Mystery or Dateline, but I really could only focus on his gorgeous face and what appeared to be a hot body under his orange jumpsuit. Fast-forward 10 years, and he's now free. And what's one of the first things he did? He got his first spray tan in February. And when showing off the results—well, I think I had what was once referred to as "the vapors!" My, my, my—prison definitely agreed with him. And I bet many of the inmates agreed, too. You can see for yourself on BillyMasters.com . But I must warn you that he does have a girlfriend. Myka Cain started writing to Ryan while he was still in prison. She did what she could to help campaign for his release, and they seem to be inseparable ... for now.
When I'm looking for love on death row, it's definitely time to end yet another column. It's not as silly as it sounds. Look at those Menendez brothers. Since being in jail, they've both gotten married—twice! So while you're checking out the inmates, be sure to check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that'll never screw ya ( unless you want it to ). If you have a question for me and have already used up your one phone call, just send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Cher asks Mackie to help her turn back time. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
