Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-02-22



Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

This article shared 3787 times since Wed Jan 15, 2014
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

"And honey, if you don't win the Academy Award, I'm giving you mine!" —Liza Minnelli makes an offer to Matthew McConaughey at a New York luncheon toasting The Dallas Buyers Club. If the Golden Globes are any indication, Liza's Oscar is safe.

First, a public service announcement: A group of scientists have discovered that semen can cure depression. Apparently, the milky liquid contains a chemical that elevates mood, induces affection and causes sleep. See? Perhaps Pamela was depressed. She certainly looked like she needed a nap afterwards. Strangely, the study only cites the benefits for women ingesting semen. What about men? Are these scientists completely excluding the possibility that there are men out there who enjoy the odd shot of semen? Semen—it's not just for women anymore.

Perhaps depression is rampant at the Vatican. That might explain why a member of the pope's Swiss Guard was propositioned for gay sex on numerous occasions. And who propositioned him? Allegedly, his suitors included cardinals, bishops, priests and a dignitary close to John Paul II! In his recollections, this unnamed former guard claims such sexually charged incidents as a late night invitation to the room of a senior official, a complimentary bottle of whiskey and suggestive note ( probably in Latin ) left in his room by a visiting bishop, a bit of unsolicited fondling from another official, and a priest inviting him to dinner, saying he'd like to have this guard for dessert! My God—I get less action in West Hollywood!

Closer to home, claims have surfaced of a gay witch hunt during the heyday of American Bandstand. Two dancers on the show allege that Dick Clark and the producers were trying to "purge gays from the ranks" of dancers. Yes, I know what you're thinking—there were only two gay dancers??? They're the only two who have come forward—and are still alive! According to Frank Brancaccio and Eddie Kelly, the producers would regularly frequent gay bars in Philadelphia for the sole purpose of seeing if any of the show's dancers were there. Yeah, that's why men working on a teen dance show were in gay bars—for professional purposes, only. The duo claims that if you were caught in such a place, or even "looked gay," you'd be given the axe. You know what this means? John Travolta would never have made it past dress rehearsal!

In some happy news, Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner got married on New Year's Eve. For those of you who don't know, Wagner has been Tomlin's personal and professional partner for over 40 years ( she's also one of the dearest people I've ever met ). When Proposition 8 was overturned, Lily said, "We're thinking maybe we'll get married. You don't really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice." The news was announced by Liz Smith: "My longtime friends, Lily Tomlin and her love, the writer Jane Wagner, got married on the eve of 2014. My wish is that their happiness will be as great as their combined talents." Congrats.

Only a few months after coming out, Maulik Pancholy ( from "30 Rock" and "Whitney" ) is engaged to his longtime partner, Ryan Corvaia. "It only took 9 years, but it's official. Just got engaged at the Taj Mahal".

Since I was in LA for the Golden Globes, I was able to see the fantastic Laura Benanti at the Catalina Bar and Grill in Hollywood. Under the auspices of Chris Isaacson and Upright Cabaret, the show was sold out within days of the announcement. A second show was quickly added—and just as quickly sold out. While Hollywood is buzzing about Benanti's luminous turn as Baroness Schrader in The Sound of Music: Live, she's been mighty busy on Broadway. ( I've seen her in Gypsy, Nine, Into The Woods and Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. ) Personally, I find her one of the most versatile and talented actresses around. In fact, I loved every one of her failed television shows—and that's saying something, because there are so few successful shows I enjoy! Her cabaret show is a perfect mix of Broadway, pop, folk numbers with delightfully engaging stories peppered in along the way. If you she isn't performing near you, I definitely recommend buying her new CD, In Constant Search of the Right Kind of Attention. The title was suggested from her former Go On co-star, Matthew Perry.

As to the Golden Globes, the most memorable moments of my evening were cozying up to Kevin Bacon and Rob Lowe. Now, I realized that these would be big "gets"—if this were 1985. But, I was in heaven. OK, perhaps it was ungallant to virtually knock Kyra Sedgwick over to get to Kevin, but this is survival of the fittest. I had a fabulous reunion with the always adorable Nikki Blonsky. As I was attempting to get close to the vivacious Sofia Vergara ( who angrily extinguished her boyfriend's cigarette ), I was intercepted by someone who looked remarkably like Kim Jong-un. Instead, I spent time dishing with the always-lovely Kathy Hilton while trying to figure out what Mike Tyson and Dame Helen Mirren were chatting about a deux. You can check out the photos on .

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from George in New Jersey: "I know Stephen Amell [the lead on Arrow] is straight and married. But he's also so gay friendly and gorgeous, I can't help but love him. I recently came across the attached photo and I swear I can see his penis. What do you think? Could you investigate? PLEASE?"

I have to confess that I was skeptical—especially since the photo in question is one officially sanctioned by Amell. But it looks like the outline of a rather sizeable appendage. Being an occasional stickler for details, I had the photo analyzed by Filth2Go Forensics and I'm pleased to report that they, too, believe that this is indeed a rare sighting of the Amell Appendage. We'll run the enhanced image on .

When we're employing NASA technology for detecting dicks, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Obviously there's something for everybody at—the site that stimulates your body and mind. If you'd like me to tackle any other part of your body, drop a note to and I promise to get back to you before Jackie Bisset finishes her acceptance speech. So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.

This article shared 3787 times since Wed Jan 15, 2014
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


Gay News

Billy Masters: David Geffen sticks to what he knows
"I'm sure I've gotten a blow job from a guy before. For sure. I don't know if it's gay unless you make eye contact while there's a blow job happening." - DJ Diplo answers a question about having gay sex, which ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: From the Oscars to the Grebes
"31 years ago in 1992, Brendan Fraser and Ke Huy Quan were in a movie together. . . two actors from 'Encino Man' are nominated for Oscars. Incredible night it must be for the two of you, and what a very ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: Raunchier Uncoupled on the rebound with Showtime
"I never liked when she did this in concerts either. I don't like when females are overly sexualized in art. It degrades and objectivy's [sic] women in a way that's not healthy." —TJ Jackson on reports ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: Billy lobbies for Bette to co-star in Sister Act 3
"When you see your boyfriend washing his penis in the sink, that's a sign they're probably having an affair." —Pamela Anderson shares a life lesson in her new documentary, "Pamela, A Love Story" I have to ...

Gay News

SHOWBIZ 'Bob's Burgers,' P!nk, sports items, Billy Porter, Ben Platt
Animated sitcom Bob's Burgers marked another major milestone with its 250th episode. Gay actor/comedian/musician John Roberts (who voices Linda Belcher) talked with Queerty and said that one of the most important lessons he's learned from ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: What happens at sea stays at sea
"I knew I was gay before I knew I was Asian. " —Joel Kim Booster on one of my favorite podcasts, Mayim Bialik's Breakdown. Whenever I get a break from being on the road, I catch up on messages people leave. ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: Madonna's guilt-trip
"Once again I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny that permeates the world we live in. A world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of 45."—Madonna. I don't know what 45-year-old ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: Was George Santos lying when he said you looked good in those jeans?
George Santos finally admitted that he actually has done drag—funny how the story changes once a videotape surfaces. And isn't it convenient that the one time he's ever done drag, someone videotaped it? "No, I was not a ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: Harry Styles' Pleather pants parting, and all the dish you need
"I will always love Pamela, always in my heart. I left her $10 million in my will. And she doesn't even know that. Nobody knows that." —Jon Peters reveals his bequest to ex-wife Pamela Anderson. Pam ...

Gay News

Billy Porter discusses his fashion choices, personal ambitions
Billy Porter—the Tony, Emmy and Grammy winner—needs no introduction—especially to the many fans of his character Pray Tell on Ryan Murphy's hit TV series Pose. Coming up exclusively in theaters Feb. 3, Porter will star as ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: George Santos gets to be a real drag, and all the dish you need
"If you're an enemy of drag, you're an enemy of mine." —George Lopez criticizes Ron DeSantis' "War on Drag Queens." There are some stories I try to stay away from, and that includes George Santos—if I ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: Prince Harry tells all and nothing, and all the other dish you need
"As a gay man, I want to apologize for all the gays on behalf of what we tried to do to her on that boat!" —Jerrod Carmichael takes a moment out of the Golden Globes to apologize to White Lotus star ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: A weatherman's thirst trap triggers a bomb cyclone, and all the other dish you need
"Upon arriving home I'd been horrified to discover that my nether regions were frost nipped...While the ears and cheeks were already healing, the todger wasn't. It was becoming more of an issue by the day." —As ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: It wasn't Jim Parsons' soul Kirk Cameron stirred up...and all the dish
"Look, the best guess I could probably give you is that I did think Kirk Cameron was awfully cute when I watched Growing Pains. So maybe things arose then." —Jim Parsons' response to Andy Cohen's question of ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: All the retrospective you'll need to show 2022 the door
"He doesn't like gay people. Doesn't want them in Russia. And then he's got the wonderful basketball player and he won't let her out. Make up your mind! He's always acting so butch and strutting around. You know what that ...


Copyright © 2023 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.






About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.