"Don't you know lots of people like that? I do. I've seen those little girlie boys from Thailandthey're quite fabulous."Sharon Osbourne tells Arsenio Hall about her experiences with people having both male and female genitalia.
I, Billy Masters, being of relatively sound mind and having body fat in the mid-teens, declare this my last will and testament. Yes, this could very well be the last column you read from me. Not because I want to stop writing to you, Lord knows, but because I could die on the operating table. For the first time ever, I am going under the knife. One would think that my maiden surgery would be something completely elective to enhance my slightly fading beauty. But like Joan Collins, I am much more afraid of surgery than I am of growing older. No, this surgery is one that is far from elective, but also far from fatal. On the other hand, my surgeon did just point out to me that there are "no guarantees," so I'd better make this column a good one ... just in case.
Let's start with what I think is an important topic. I've seen Jack Andraka featured on both 60 Minutes and The View. He's the 16-year-old scientist who has come up with a way to detect pancreatic, lung, and ovarian cancer that costs three cents and takes five minutes to runthis means it is 168 times faster and 26,000 times less expensive than the current test. Why am I bringing this up? Because he's also GAY! I'm not outing himhe's openly gay. In fact, it's the first thing he brings up in an online interview: "Being an LGBT teen in science right now is kinda lonely. Looking around at scientists it's like, wow, there are no other gay people. And I'm like, 'Come on, guysscience. We can go outside of like fashion design and stuff. It doesn't matter who you like, what gender you are, where you come from, none of that matters. It's just your ideas that should count.'" An insider at 60 Minutes told me, "We didn't mention he was gay because it wasn't relevant to the storyand it might have turned some people off." Shame on you, 60 Minutes. LGBT teens like Jack Andraka make me feel like the world is in pretty good hands.
In the never-ending quest to find a television project for Cheyenne Jackson, there are two pilots he's attached to ( three if you count the one from Delta ). Jackson has been added to the cast of an Alicia Silverstone pilot for Lifetime called HRwhere she plays the director of a human resources department ( hence, "HR" ). This is a guest role that could become recurring. This would be a reunion for Cheyenne and Alicia, who co-starred in the short-lived Broadway play The Performers, where Cheyenne played a porn star. Jackson has also been cast in Ryan Murphy's pilot for HBO called Open, which is about a group of five friends played by Michelle Monaghan, Scott Speedman, Wes Bentley, Anna Torv and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Jackson's role is described as a "handsome meth addict." Hmmm ... that could explain the video of him masturbating on BillyMasters.com . He was doing research.
Making a smooth transition to the rollicking world of gay porn, Trenton Ducati just signed a three-month contract with Michael Lucas. While that in itself is not notable, the details are intriguing: "I am so excited to be sharing my first non-condom scene with the world. I have been waiting a long time for the opportunity to film this type of scene." This is ironic because only six months ago, Trenton sent out the following tweet: "How about giving and taking education and promoting safe sex practices and doing your barebacking at home, especially if like you say they get paid 250 dollars. Shit, I will pay them that much to stop." Either he had no takers or too many. Anyway, I suspect he's getting more than $250 from Lucas Entertainment.
But Trenton doesn't simply call this barebacking: "The term I want to use going forward is 'informed bareback.' It's not about denying risk or forgetting a condom or not wanting to use one in the heat of the moment. It's not at all careless. On the contrary, it relies on explicit, open communication and status sharing among the models. That makes it possible to give fans the kind of sex scenes they have been craving, while creating a space for performers that ensures them full information and consent." What I think he's saying is that if he wants to get a ride home from someone who is drunk and he's willing to take the risks, then he should be able to. You also have the right to check him out on BillyMasters.com .
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Benjamin in Atlanta: "I have a non-penis-related question. Kate Jackson was supposed to release an autobiography called The Smart One that was available for pre-order on Amazon. The date has changed several times and is now February 2014. Do you know who or what is holding it up?"
Who are you to say this isn't penis-related? Watch how I turn an innocent question about Kate Jackson into a cornucopia of cock. But, first, your question. On Charlie's Angels, Kate may have played the smart one, but in real life she's been plagued with a myriad of problems. However, she was determined to write her story, and on Aug. 3, 2010, it was announced that her autobiography would come out May 3, 2011. That quickly changed to Oct. 11, 2011. After several more delays, I'm told the publisher is now listing this for release on Feb. 1, 2015! Why the long wait? The biggest problem is that Kate hasn't written anything more than the outline, perhaps because she is having great difficulty remembering much of her past. My hope is that she doesn't gloss over her first marriage to sexy Andrew Stevenswho went on to produce and star in a number of softcore porn releases. Samples of his prolific body of work can be found on BillyMasters.com .
When I've written more about Kate Jackson than Kate Jackson herself, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I do hate to think I could die on the operating table and my final story would have been about Kate Jackson. So, while I'm being wheeled into surgery, I'll write a bit more that will eventually show up on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that speaks for itselfeven from the great beyond. If you have a question for me and don't have a Ouija board handy, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I'm exorcized ( or, for that matter, exercise ). So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.