"She's got that star charisma and everything about her. I couldn't take my eyes off her, either, so it was mutual."—Christina Aguilera remarks on a photo where Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is ogling the singer's mammaries. Like husband, like wife.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go—and I do mean everywhere. Even in celebrity houses, you'll see decorative balls hung high and low. In one case, the high ones actually belong to the sexy Mario Lopez, who was snapped on a ladder placing the star atop the tree. If he weren't doing it pantless, I wouldn't mention it. Ho, ho, ho from BillyMasters.com .
The best gift I've gotten is the interview Calvin Klein's ex-boytoy Nick Gruber gave to the New York Post. It is a veritable cornucopia of revelations from an oddly confident minor porn actor. Although he reveals that CK got him a penthouse in the West Village and a 2011 Bentley Supersport worth a quarter of a million dollars, he insists that he never asked for anything and was not a user. The relationship was chock full of give-and-take. Calvin's chef may have taught Nick the delicacies of cooking French cuisine, but Nick brought the designer to McDonald's for his first Big Mac. Calvin ordered it medium-rare—because McDonald's is known for its Big Mac tartare!
He's now with another older man with money—which I'm sure is just a coincidence. John Luciano is the nephew of infamous mobster Lucky Luciano and is only 28 years older than Nick. This relationship is not without challenges. Said Luciano, "The most intimidating thing is having sex with your boyfriend and pulling down his pants and his ex-boyfriend's name is staring you right in the face."
John is helping Nick develop a reality show, which John claims will clear up the misconceptions about Gruber: "He's a cross between Kim Kardashian and Honey Boo Boo." Apparently, I had a big misconception about Nick. Before this interview, I thought he was a moron. Then I read that John bought him a BMW motorcycle and Nick made sure that the title was in his name. He's learning...
I've been wondering what was going on with Streisand's proposed remake of Gypsy. She hasn't mentioned it much since Arthur Laurents' death, although she did perform two of Mama Rose's songs in her recent tour. Back in March we heard that Downton Abbey scribe Julian Fellowes would be adapting the script. The latest holdup is with the rights, but Universal is confident that's just a formality. Babs still plans to begin filming next year—and she's likely to both star in it and direct it. When Entertainment Weekly asked her if she was too old to play Mama Rose, she said, "What's that got to do with anything? How old do I look to you? Age is a number." Like Babs, I often ask questions without waiting for an answer. One thing you don't have to wait for is Streisand's thoughts on casting. According to Time magazine, she's considering Lady Gaga as Louise, who would follow in the footsteps of Natalie Wood and Cynthia Gibb. Well, there's only so much you can do with "Little Lamb."
Time for more of "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions." The fabulous Kathy Griffin has just released a DVD box set of her seven specials for Bravo. The Kathy Griffin Collection: Red, White & Raw is the perfect gift for any gay. If you want something oral (and who doesn't?), Kathy Griffin: Seaman 1st Class just earned the funny gal her fifth Grammy nomination for Best Comedy Album. Although it was never released as a CD, you can download it from iTunes.
Let's slip in a quick "Ask Billy" question. Gerard in Dallas writes: "Do you watch Arrow? It's so good. Stephen Amell is beyond hot, and now it looks like John Barrowman is the father of the villain. First question is, am I right? And second, is Barrowman so old that he's now the father of the hot guys?"
My darling, life does go on. For almost two decades, forces in Hollywood have tried to create a hit show for Barrowman. First was Central Park West, which lasted a full season. Even when it came back from hiatus as CPW, it didn't work. He then resurfaced on Titans—a Dynasty-style soap featuring the talents of Yasmine Bleeth and Casper Van Dien. NBC smelled a hit; I smelled direct-to-video. When Vicki Principal joined the cast, the smell got more pungent and it, too, was cancelled. John's real television breakthrough occurred when he joined the UK cast of Doctor Who, which led to his own series, Torchwood. Along the way, there was talk of a role on Desperate Housewives. After a private meeting with Marc Cherry, he joined the show for five episodes (well, Johnny's knees ain't what they used to be). Will Arrow be the series to keep him stateside for a while? Or will it to be plagued with the Barrowman curse? Stay tuned.
By the way, get ready for the addition of sexy Colton Haynes to the cast. He'll be playing Roy Harper, who comic aficionados tell me is Speedy, Green Arrow's sidekick. Kinda sounds like Colton's XY pictorial, oh, so long ago. If he takes off all his clothes like he does in the making of that porn video on BillyMasters.com, I'll be mighty happy.
When I'm starting and ending with some (minor) celebrity skin, it's definitely time to end yet another column. But that gives me an idea I'd like to run by Barbra. You know when the three old strippers show Gypsy how it's done in "Gotta Get A Gimmick?" What if the trio was played by former notable Broadway Mama Rose's? I'm thinking Patti LuPone as Mazeppa, Bernadette Peters as Electra and Tyne Daly as Tessie Tura. If one of them balks, I'm sure Angela would be game. Jason, pass this along to your mom. (He hangs on my every word.) In the meantime, check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that never comes up short. If you need a last minute gift, a subscription is only a few clicks away. And if you have a question, you can always send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before LuPone bumps it with a trumpet (which should be a breeze after what she did with that tuba in "Sweeney Todd"). So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
