"The casting of Brooke Shields, lovely as always to look at, doesn't enhance the work's credibility, although I think she would be terrific in an alternative camp version directed by John Waters."—Charles McNulty reviews the world-premiere production of The Exorcist at the Geffen Playhouse for the Los Angeles Times. With reviews like this, the play may not transfer to Broadway. But it might inspire John Waters to tackle something on stage!
First things first—I must talk about Ted Casablanca. When I started this column in August of 1995, there was no path to follow and no such thing as syndication to gay papers. There were, however, a few notable gay men who were dishing dirt. Obviously, Michael Musto was and is the most renowned. And there was Ted Casablanca over at Premiere magazine. (Liz Smith comes close to making this list, but the genetic testing is still out on her.)
I look at Musto as an old-school type of columnist (although I'm not sure where that old school is—perhaps Mesopotamia). He's a straight shooter, he knows what he knows, he's campy and clever and doesn't care who he pisses off. Ted may only be five years younger than Musto, but he represented a new approach to gossip. Nothing was sacred to Ted—which was difficult since he would soon be working for a network that depended on the kindness of celebrities (or, at the very least, their publicists and agents). He was more biting than clever, targeted a younger audience and even made up words to fit a story. I didn't know him when I started, but it was clear we were cut from the same cloth. Over the years, we've met at various events, but we've never developed anything approaching a friendship. That said, I have an enormous amount of respect for what he does and how he does it.
So I was perplexed when his column was notably missing from the newly restructured Eonline.com . In his final column, dated July 5 (the notion that this is the day after Independence Day is not lost on moi), he objectively lists his pros and cons, talks about his days at Premiere and how that led to an offer to bring his column online to E!—a decision he wrestled with. Everyone told him to not give up print for a speculative web offer. He passed on the job. The next day, he called to see if he could change his mind. He could, and he did. "So, that's what I'd like my last words to be: Always do what you're not supposed to do," he said. Nobody did it like Ted, and I'll miss him.
Eleven Bel Ami models/porn stars are suing RSVP Cruises for $12 million. Apparently, the cruise organizers hired these models to "mix and mingle" with the passengers on a Mediterranean cruise last summer. In addition to a fee and a free cruise, Bel Ami also had the rights to film the boys onboard. However, RSVP insisted that if anyone asked, the guys should say that Bel Ami sent them on a cruise because of all the hard work they've done. Of course, once the translators got this information relayed to the various boys, no one was convinced this deal would stay private. Once onboard, beauteous Bel Ami boys were an immediate hit with the passengers.
Photos we've uncovered from the cruise show the boys frolicking in the pool in skimpy Speedos that I'm sure gave everyone hours of enjoyment. Alas, it was to be only hours before RSVP demanded that the group leave when the ship docked in Tunisia. They asked to stay at least one more day and leave when the ship got to Italy. RSVP insisted on Tunisia and that was that. Now RSVP and Holland America are being sued for breach of contract, fraud, intentional interference with contractual relationships, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress.
In addition to the emotional distress of being stranded in Tunisia, we hear that prior to the boys being thrown off the ship, the other passengers got wind of their situation. Knowing the lads were desperate, some passengers dared to offer them cash for sex—GASP! Well, I'm sure that was traumatic, what with the devaluation of the Euro and all. BTW, the plaintiffs' names include some of your favorites—Rudko, Michal, Petr, Adrian, Lukas, Tamas, Igor and Attila. That's not a list of porn stars—that's the roster of the Czech Olympic water-polo team!
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Jared in Toronto: "I saw that play that you recommended—High with Kathleen Turner. I loved it. Especially that hot boy, Evan. You said you had nudes, but you couldn't show them. Come on—please? He's SO hot (and HUGE)!?"
Well, yes, someone sent me not only photos but also a video from the infamous nude scene in High starring Kathleen Turner and Evan Jonigkeit, who is as talented as he is hot. I was asked to not share this material because certain people felt it could hurt the tour. I never agreed with that—if anything, I think the footage would have sold more tickets. But, what do I know? Anyway, the tour ended in Toronto and now I don't feel I need to keep it to myself any longer. So, you can now see every inch of the enormously talented Evan on BillyMasters.com . Enjoy!
When I've been holding onto a big dick for way too long, it's time to end yet another column. Let me say publicly that Mr. Casablanca is welcomed to join the Billy Masters Empire any time he'd like—and in any capacity (within reason, of course). Just think: He could soon be a part of www.BillyMasters.com, the site that can always use someone a bit more "versatile." And if you'd like to get a hold of me, send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before the Bel Ami boys next cruise booking is Tom Cruise! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
