"I would say that probably Grease 2 put me on the map ... but that was a different map!"—Michelle Pfeiffer responds to Sanjay Gupta's comment that Scarface put her on the map by making a rare mention of one of my favorite films. Lest you think she isn't embarrassed by Grease 2, you should have seen her face when they showed a clip of Cool Rider.
Being a die-hard royalist, I enjoyed every minute of Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee. That meant not relying on our limited domestic coverage. No siree—I was glued to the BBC. I particularly enjoyed watching her pre-taped jubilee address from the Buckingham Palace equivalent of the Oval Office. I chuckled as she did several quick pivots to accommodate the multiple camera angles. Let's face it—that's a lot of work for an 86-year-old monarch.
Have you noticed that the queen's signature wave has changed? Rather than those little circles with her wrist, she's now simply moving her elbow back and forth. Well, she has been doing this for 60 years. Maybe she's got carpal tunnel or waving elbow! Some people feared Prince Philip's hospitalization would put a damper on the festivities. One of my friends worried that Liz might be tired after taking Phil to the ER—as if the queen rode in the ambulance to check him in! She didn't seem particularly concerned to me. In fact, on the morning of the actual jubilee, she scheduled some time before church to go out horseback riding. It's all about priorities.
You'd think with all the royal revelry, I'd forget all about John Travolta. Not on your life. Once again, I must credit the National Enquirer for supplying more pieces to the puzzle. These came via an interview with a guy who dated a guy who dated John Travolta. Did you follow that? You know what they say—when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they slept with. So, technically, this guy slept with Travolta, too. The stoolie, Robert Britz, says he dated Doug Gotterba, who worked as a pilot for Johnny and, allegedly, was his lover. Baitz said, "Doug said that he hated sleeping with John because his body was very hairy, and he didn't like the way John smelled." He (Baitz) also says that Travolta's sexual advances began to "repulse" him (Gotterba) when Travolta would gain weight in between movies. I'm repulsed just thinking about it.
While this third-hand story is fun, it's not really credible. But the Enquirer got corroboration from Travolta's former secretary, Joan Edwards. She said, "I worked for John Travolta from 1978 through 1994. I did everything for him, including taking care of his personal and professional schedules. Of course, I knew he was gay. It never bothered me." That's how she met Gotterba: "Doug is a wonderful guy and we are still good friends. He told me that John was gay and they had a sexual relationship." Which begs the question—why is she talking now? And why did she leave his employ? Those questions are not addressed by the tabloid. And what about Gotterba? The Enquirer did contact him. The only thing he confirmed was that he worked for Travolta as a pilot for six years.
Speaking of scandals, there's a story surfacing about Siegfried and Roy ... or, rather, of Roy Horn. Apparently, he's gotten a bit feisty with his attendants and his questionable behavior has been caught on film. The good folks at TMZ claim to have seen the video and allegedly it shows Roy sticking his hand down the back of the pants of one caretaker who is helping him in the bathroom! He later tries to grind his own ass against this caretaker's crotch—which is hard to do when you're confined to a wheelchair. I can just hear the argument now: "But ya are, Roy, you are in that chair!" He's also seen grabbing the crotches of two other attendants. When he's shown pinching one man's nipples, TMZ says, "The caretaker appears to writhe in pain." (Now, Harvey, you know pain and pleasure look so similar.) In the most disturbing instance, he allegedly whips one of the guys with the tube from his oxygen tank. Look, you don't want the oxygen? Fine. It might be time for Roy to spend some more time alone with Montecore!
While we're talking Vegas, let's discuss the progress being made on the Liberace biopic, which will star Michael Douglas. Catherine Zeta-Jones told reporters that she was shocked to discover her hubby walking around in her panties in order to get into character. He even took to wearing her diamonds and added another Liberace affectation: "I'm sick of having breakfast by candelabra." As it turns out, Cat was just having a bit of fun: "Before anyone writes that my husband's a cross-dresser, I'm kidding. He wishes he could fit into them." Does he? Does he wish he could fit into them? I guess that's some of that Welsh humor. What is true is that Matt Damon is still playing Liberace's lover and Dan Aykroyd will portray his manager. The film will begin shooting in August.
Our "Ask Billy" is from Frankie in Baltimore: "During the Diamond Jubilee coverage, one of the reporters said that the British Olympic team posed nude. Do you know anything about this?"
I do indeed. Every year, Cosmo UK presents male celebrities posing nude to raise awareness of prostate and testicular cancer. Since the summer Olympics are in London this year, the magazine asked members of the British team to pose and a number of them accepted, including the very limber gymnast Louis Smith, cyclist Ben Swift, runner Conrad Williams, swimmer Nick Robinson-Baker and members of the field hockey team. And if you think field hockey is a girlie sport, these guys will change your mind. I'll feature the pics on BillyMasters.com .
When nude Olympians are considered racy, it's time to end yet another column. Hmm ... maybe I'll start a petition for all Olympians to resume competing in the nude—that would surely boost ratings! You can find all this and much more at www.BillyMasters.com . If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Kelly Preston catches John Travolta wearing her panties (he'll be preparing for a role, of course)! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
