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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2011-12-14

This article shared 4218 times since Wed Dec 14, 2011
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"I don't give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else... They go on and on with all this bullshit about 'sanctity'. Don't give me that sanctity crap! Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want."—Clint Eastwood shares his thoughts on gay marriage!

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the solstice and any number of December holidays that are commemorated by dancing naked around a dead bush (or maybe that's just me)—there's something special about this time of year. There's a palpable feeling of celebration in the air. I could feel it in Boston. I could feel it in Florida. I even feel it in Los Angeles. I would have felt it in New York City, but a pending restraining order prevented me from feeling any part of a certain ex-paramour I ran into. But make no mistake about it; love is in the air.

I'm sure you all heard that Rosie O'Donnell proposed to her girlfriend, Michelle Rounds. Although they've only been dating for six months, Ro's ready for a commitment and said, "When you're almost 50, it's long enough." Although it's been widely reported that the couple will wed sometime over the Christmas holidays, O'Donnell corrected that misinformation while chatting with Joy Behar on her now-cancelled HLN show: "We'll probably wait until the summer when the show is on a break. You know, before we start up next year." When Behar asked if O'Donnell would consider getting married on her OWN show, O'Donnell quipped, "I don't think so. Maybe we'll do a Star Jones and I'll get a lot of free stuff." Oh, those wacky lesbians!

What's gotten less press is that Chaz Bono is also engaged. He proposed to girlfriend Jennifer Elia while the couple was on the top of the Space Needle in Seattle—and if that ain't a phallic symbol, I don't know what is! Unlike Rosie, Chaz had no problem sharing this good news on a new OWN special, Being Chaz.

Lesbians and transgender folks ain't the only ones in love. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka may not be tying the knot, but they have no problem with public displays of affection—when it's for a good cause. In 2008, they performed the duet "Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent at a benefit for the LGBT Community Center in NYC. Last week, the duo did a spirited rendition of Cole Porter's "You're the Top" at a benefit for the Trevor Project. Of course, they tweaked the lyrics a tad, making it clear that neither of them are the top. At one point, David accuses Neil of dancing like a bottom. When NPH asked, "What does a bottom even dance like, anyway?" David quipped, "Have you seen Adam Shankman?" Oh, those catty queens. Watch the ditty on BillyMasters.com .

Christmas, or whatever those wacky Scientologists celebrate, came a little early to the Cruise household this year. Zac Efron reveals that he got to spend a bit of alone time with Tommy. When the two ran into each other at a party, Tom asked if Zac rode motorcycles. Zac said no, and Cruise said, "Why don't you come over tomorrow and I'll teach you how to ride"—ah, the old "come over for a ride" line. According to Efron, they spent two hours a deux with Cruise teaching him various techniques. I suspect the words, "Hold on...TIGHTER!" were yelled repeatedly.

We were quite intrigued when we got word that Mario Lopez was coming out with his own line of underwear. Surely this meant we'd get photos of him in the aforementioned undies—despite his decree that he was done with shirtless publicity shots. His line is called "Rated M" (perhaps the "M" is for Mario) and has the tagline "For manful men and their special guests." I'm not exactly sure what a "manful man" is, but "special guests" is gender-neutral enough to appeal to everyone (unless the "special guests" is a new term for one's privates). The line is available exclusively at FreshPair.com, and I'm told you can get a variety of styles delivered in time for the holidays—and, yes, those pics of Mario modeling can be found on BillyMasters.com .

Since we're coming down to the wire, you'd better pay attention to "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions," which, this week, focus on food. My pals David Muniz and David Lesniak moved from New York to England and opened an American bakery in London—how's that for a specialty niche? Their shoppe, Outsider Tart, is so successful that they published a cookbook, Baked In America. Since I had some holiday parties to go to, I decided to try out some of the recipes on my friends. Early favorites are the Hepburns (Katharine Hepburn's personal brownie recipe), and the XXX-Rated Chocolate Chip Cookies (no attribute listed). The verdict is YUM! The hardcover book is colorful; has well-written anecdotes and easy-to-follow recipes; and is packed with traditional and rarer fare. I love it—just like I'd love someone to make me some sour cream spiced pecan biscuits (in case anyone's wondering what to get me). You can get the book at their website, www.OutsiderTart.com .

Perhaps you don't wanna cook. Well, why not send someone the best cupcakes they'll ever eat? Those, of course, would be ScottCakes, the brainchild of the sexy Scott Cunningham. Devotees of this column will recall my raves about this Provincetown delicacy—a sinfully delicious yellow cupcake with pink butter cream frosting that is deceptively light and fluffy and melts in your mouth. Now, I must make a confession to you—I am not usually of the cupcake persuasion. However, these are so perfect, I'm slightly addicted. As luck would have it, Scott recently started shipping his wares, and just in time for the holidays. To order a batch, ring him up at 508-487-7465 (which spells PINK, btw) and he'll be happy to take care of you. Tell him Billy sent you.

When I'm promoting underwear and cupcakes, it's definitely time for me to end yet another column. Now that I'm done with my California commitments, time for my pre-holiday fast as I head back east for the rest of the year. But fear not—even from 30,000 feet, I am updating www.BillyMasters.com . I'm even sharing stories about "the ex" on Billy's Boudoir, which I don't believe violates any pending court orders. If you have a question about anyone who's been naughty or nice, just drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Tom teaches Zac to ride bareback! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 4218 times since Wed Dec 14, 2011
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