"I may not be the greatest dancer. I may not be the greatest singer. But I'm an entertainer."— Paula Abdul defines the secret of her success to Glamour magazine. She might have also added, "When I'm conscious."
Last week, I attended many offerings of the Fort Lauderdale Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. I was even given a lanyard, which I believe means I can skip the line at the Matterhorn! While space doesn't permit me to discuss all the films, I was FINALLY able to see Going Down in LaLa Land, based on the book by my buddy, Andy Zeffer. This flick is directed by Casper Andreas, who also appears in it as a drugged-out photographer who still looks good ( at least at the beginning ) . Although fabulous work is done by Allison Lane ( her last scene is a hoot ) , it is a tour de force for Matthew Ludwinski—who is indeed young and beautiful and in possession of an extremely large and juicy penis ... not that it's on display in the film, but it does appear on BillyMasters.com ( a bit of life imitating art, n'est ce pas ) . I had a good time and I think you'll like it because it's entertaining and looks like a million bucks. Check it out if it plays in a city near you.
Let me tackle a sensitive topic. How often have I called some formerly hot hunk a big fat pig? Mean? Perhaps. But you see, I do it as a public service to you, my loyal readers. Because if Channing Tatum—who looks like a Herculean god in photos—can sport a beer belly on the beach, it gives us all hope. You know what else it does? It motivates those former hunks to whip themselves back into shape. Gerard Butler recently said that he forced himself to get back into shape after seeing paparazzi pics from his holiday in Barbados last summer looking Buddha- esque! He said, "Even I didn't realize how awful it was going to look. In truth, it didn't look great, it didn't kill me. ... It did lead me to be a little more aware of what I was eating."
You're welcome, Gerard! And to show how well he's done, I will post before and after pics on BillyMasters.com—as an inspiration to the rest of you.
Another one who goes to great pains to look great is Henry Cavill, who is filming the next Superman flick. Yes, you may think he looks almost effortlessly breathtaking, but he was a fat kid and was teased because of it. What's surprising is that he claims to have not been confident about his body until he started prepping for Superman. So those of us who thought he was pretty near perfect in The Tudors or Tristan + Isolde will be in for a treat. Cavill said, "It's very stressful, waking up Monday morning and saying, 'Can I still see the vein in my abs?'" You think that's stressful, Henry? Imagine the stress I endure waking up on a Monday morning trying to find an ab!!! Be that as it may, don't expect the clean-cut Man of Steel of yore. Nope, Cavill just filmed some scenes showing off his fantastic physique complete with furry chest and unshaven face. And you know what this shows? His range. Because in the forthcoming Immortals, he's still buff but shaved within an inch of his life. We'll run photos so you can see his range first hand—at least one of your hands should be free as you're looking at BillyMasters.com .
Cavill's co-star in Immortals is the luscious Kellan Lutz. Despite being in possession of one of the most fantastic physiques, he really had to buff up even more to play Poseidon—although if any god should have a swimmer's build, I'd think it would be him! Anyhoo, stills leaked from the press show him in enviable shape, with remnants of a strange costume—crowned with a hat I could picture one of Fergie's daughters wearing to a royal wedding! He's also on the cover of Men's Fitness and we'll run all of these photos on BillyMasters.com .
Although I promised to promote a book in every column, this week I'm going to focus on CDs—two of 'em. First up is Echoes, the new release from the UK's Will Young ( first winner of "Pop Idol"—predecessor to "American Idol" ) . It's fantastic.
What it reminds me of is a cross between The Communards and the Pet Shop Boys—and that's high praise, indeed. Young's voice never sounded better and the material has a retro feel that is still cutting-edge and current.
I absolutely adore Will, and this CD doesn't disappoint. When he was talking about choosing appropriate material for this CD, he mentioned that being an openly gay artist did have its challenges. He said that expressing himself is tricky because "you're still a minority. There are still lots of people who don't want to think about anal sex, to be honest." Anal sex? I don't know that song. Maybe if you hummed a few bars... Then there's Matt Zarley, whom I've worked with many times and can report is as talented as he is sexy. This new CD contains perfectly crafted radio-friendly pop songs, particularly "Forgive Me ( For Not Forgiving You ) " which I love ( and can relate to ) . The official listening party will take place at Here Lounge in WeHo on Nov.
8 at 7 p.m. This will include a live performance by Zarley, and the event will also raise funds for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS and the Positive Young People's Foundation. Count me in! More info about the CD and event at http:// www.MattZarley.com .
Lastly, Chris Brown and Lil Bow Wow went to the King of Diamonds strip club in Miami and spent over $5K EACH on the ladies. It sounds like overcompensating to me, especially given the latest rumor about Brown. You see, R&B singer Martyn ( someone I've never heard of ) claims that he had gay sex with Chris Brown, where Brown was the "receiver." Martyn made this confession on Twitter—because that's what the kids do. Chris denied it. Martyn has since said he is not at liberty to talk about it. Which still begs the question—who the heck is Martyn?
When Martyn and Will Young could collaborate on a song about anal sex, it's definitely time to end yet another column. As always, you can keep up with my exploits on http://www.Billy- Masters.com . Although I didn't answer a question publicly this week, I always take care of you one-on-one ( sometimes two-on-one ) . So feel free to write to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Gerard Butler sends me a thank-you note! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
