"We all know Ryan Seacrest is a big, dirty faggot. Of course, if I called him one, it would get cut out on air because he's so nervous about it."Lisa Lampanelli tells the boys at SixPack Podcast what she thinks of Miss Seacrest. Just remember, I didn't say it. I just report this stuff.
Last week, I journeyed back to my old stomping groundsNew York City. First stop was going with my darling David Drake to Priscilla, Queen of the Deserta show I had previously seen in London. The second time around, I loved it even more. As in London (and Australia), the role of Bernadette is embodied by Tony Shelton, and he gives one of the most touching and nuanced performances I've ever seen. Alternately bitchy and poignant, he knows this role inside and out.
I adore Will Swenson in everything, and loved him as Mitzi/Tick. He's dashing in that leading man way and yet plays the drag moments with unbridled abandon. Of course, my readers are most interested in Nick Adams as Adam/Felicia. I am so thrilled to report that his performance is a personal triumph. All of Nick's talent and hard work over the years comes together in a perfect package (so to speak). He gets to show off his athletic yet graceful dancing ability. He's clearly in touch with his feminine side while also oozing male sexuality. Andwhat many of you may not have knownhe's a damn good singer. There are few people as genuinely nice who have also paid their dues and deserve a break. But Nick is one of them, and he more than rises to the occasion.
Last summer, I saw Matthew Lombardo's new play, High, in Hartford and found it compellingparticularly Kathleen Turner's riveting portrayal of a tough-talking addictions-counseling nun and the dark, brooding, fascinating performance by Evan Jonigkeit. On the road to Broadway, it played two other cities and lost one cast member (Michael Berresse). I accompanied lawyer to the stars Mark Sendroff to the opening night and was thrilled. The work that the cast and playwright have done on the road was surely evident. Alas, the critics were less effusive and the show closed by the end of the week. Not only did that rob you all of seeing a provocative play and a couple of terrific performances, but you also will miss out on the enormous penis of Mr. Jonigkeit.
However, the greatest tragedy on Broadway is La Cage aux Folles. What? The tuneful, toe-tapping Jerry Herman musical is a tragedy? In this case, yes, because the show and, in particular, this cast should be playing long past the scheduled May 1 closing date. I've always told my bon ami Christopher Sieber that he was a character actor trapped in a leading man's body. The role of Georges plays to all of his strengths. He can be dashing and debonair while still being hysterically funny. However, the chance to witness Harvey Fierstein as Albin is one of those rare opportunities that one gets in the theatre. He may have written the book to the show, but this is his first time appearing in it. He's so funny that I simply forgot what a magnificent actor he is. His performance is perfection. Sure, he knows how to land every joke, but he can rip your heart out with the skill and commitment that comes from only the most gifted. It should be noted that I couldn't help but think that his Zaza could be the French cousin to Edna in Hairspray. However, for me, that only added to the fun. As luck would have it, I was at the one-year anniversary for the show, and was thrilled to celebrate with the cast. I just wish it lasted longer.
I have to make a confessionI adore most of the people associated with the Broadway hit Catch Me If You Can. I wondered if I could go in and be unbiased. Also, if I didn't like it, what would I do? Happily, I absolutely loved it. The score by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman is boffo (an apt term to use for this show). Although the entire cast is fantastic (including the most dazzling chorus girls on Broadway), it's really about the two leads.
I was looking forward to seeing Aaron Tveit since I was a huge fan of his performance in Next to Normal. Here he's playing the leading role of Frank Abagnale Jr. as a young conman who's also quite a showman. He can sing, dance, act, and ain't bad to look at. I perhaps missed the little twinkle that Matthew Morrison might have brought to the part (he did the original readings but is now a tad too old and, obviously, more than a bit busy). As good as Aaron is, he's overshadowed by Norbert Leo Butz, who plays FBI agent Carl Hanratty. He stops the show cold night after night with "Don't Break The Rules," an expertly delivered display of his awkward dance abilities. This is the show to see for an evening of great entertainment.
Former gay porn star/current "Real World" cast member Dustin Zito is all worked up about the possibility of rooming with a gay guy. What he said, verbatim, is "It's tough because a gay dude I would just be like, 'Hey, don't be sniffing my underwears, man. I sniff girl's underwears.'" OK, let's skip the new word "underwears." What's with all the sniffing? Straight, gay, biam I missing something? And is it really difficult to share a room with a gay guy after you've had several men's penises in your mouth? I'm just curious, and if you're curious to see Zito in action, check out BillyMasters.comwe have nothing to hide.
When people are sniffing undies, it's definitely time to end yet another column. And now that we've passed over Easter, it's back to Fort Lauderdale for some R&R. But if you need a bit of a boost, check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that never sleeps. If you've got a question, just jot a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Dustin slips on some girls' underwears! To my fellow Albanians, "Krishti Ungjall." To the Greeks, "Christos Anesti." And to the rest of you, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.