"Well, we went out for breakfasts and, you know, dated."—Mark-Paul Gosselaar talks about how he and co-star Breckin Meyer developed their chemistry for the new series Franklin & Bash. If I recall correctly, Breckin and Ryan Phillipe did the same thing for the film 54.
If reports are to be believed, Florida was the only state in the union not to have any snow last week. With the rest of the country in chaos, Billy barely got back to L.A. alive. OK, I'm actually not back in L.A. as I write this from the charming but chilly DFW airport. I'm going on the assumption that I make it back eventually. I suppose you won't know until next week, when I tell you I had a ball at the Golden Globes and at the Miss America Pageant in Las Vegas (where I will apparently be sitting within spitting distance of the stage).
The week before Miss America hits the Strip, the Adult Video Awards were there. And who should pop up but Andy Dick. Wait—Andy Dick? At the straight-porn awards? Well, a number of my gay-porn pups were also in attendance. From what we hear, Andy was actually making a nuisance of himself with one of the ladies, of all things! According to our sources, he went backstage prior to the show's start and found himself in a dressing room with "paid talent" (as Charlie Sheen's lawyer would call her) Tera Patrick. Andy allegedly kept following Chi Chi and Tera around, slurring his words and spilling beer on them. At one point, Chi Chi reportedly bellowed, "Leave me alone!"—and when Miss La Rue speaks, you better believe someone listened. Before Andy could ask, "Where's my career gone?" a beefy security guard appeared and escorted him from the premises.
Last week, 65-year-old Portuguese journalist and gay rights activist Carlos Castro was murdered in his Times Square hotel. OK—people are murdered every day. But this one has a twist (a tasteless pun, as you will soon see). His "companion," Renato Seabra (a 20-year-old aspiring model who resembles a young Nick Scotti), has confessed to the killing, saying he did it "to get rid of demons." Despite Seabra's statements like "I'm not gay anymore," his mother told a Portuguese TV station that "My son was not Carlos Castro's lover. From the beginning, he never hid his sexuality, which is heterosexual." She may be right. Renato sprang to fame after appearing on a modeling reality show A Procura Do Sonho (Pursuit of a Dream). Shortly thereafter, the two allegedly started dating in August and were in NYC on vacation to ring in the new year in Times Square and also see some Broadway shows. Seabra told doctors at Bellevue (where he's being held) that the tragic evening started when he told Carlos he was only using him for money and connections. Seabra "confessed" that he beat the journalist for more than an hour, hit him in the head with a computer, and then castrated him with a corkscrew (I warned you). He later slit his own wrists, sought medical attention and was arrested. He's been charged with second-degree murder—and, I'm guessing, readying an insanity plea.
Speaking of models behaving badly, let's lighten things up and talk about Luke Worrall, Kelly Osbourne's former fiancé. In an interview with Piers Morgan that ran on British television, Kelly said their break-up was because he had some growing up to do and that the relationship made her "feel not good enough, not pretty enough. ... I can't force somebody to treat me good. I can't force somebody to be the man they should be to me." I think part of the problem may have been his penchant for exposing himself on the Internet! First we had that oft-circulated nude posed photo of him that stops just past the pubes. Then his penis made a miraculous appearance during a Skype session. The screen shot saved by an unknown woman shows Luke reclining back, genitalia at full attention, with nary a corkscrew in sight. The lady blocked out her photo in the bottom left-hand corner, but that doesn't take away from luscious Luke—as you can see on BillyMasters.com .
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Gerry in St. Louis: "I totally love Trevor Donovan on 90210. Will he get an actual boyfriend? Or at least get some hot sex scenes?"
We're told that the character of Teddy will have quite an active sex life, thank you very much. While we were teased by him kissing sexy Kyle Riabko, we hear that he'll get an actual boyfriend named Marco, who is described as "super-athletic and friendly." But first there'll be a romp over spring break with someone who makes the almost perfect Trevor Donovan look positively puny. Enter Alan Ritchson—who you all remember from American Idol or various underwear modeling gigs or his starring role on Blue Mountain State (a show I seem to be the only one watching) or his turn as Aquaman on Smallville. Oh, NOW you remember him. Well, he'll be playing Tripp, a prep-school friend who Teddy always had a crush on. When Teddy and Tripp meet over spring break, Teddy comes out to his unbearably hot friend, they kiss, and ... stay tuned.
By the way, do you remember months ago when I told you that Trevor would be quite scantily clad during his guest-starring appearance on CSI? Did you remember to tape it? If not, you missed quite a bit of flesh—which of course you can see on BillyMasters.com . But this episode did leave me with one question—why didn't he tear off the center of the toilet seat cover before sitting down? Have I been doing it wrong all these years?
When I'm probing deep into bathroom etiquette, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Someone must know the answer to this. There must be some expert out there on public bathroom stalls. Does Larry Craig have a website? 'Cause I do—www.BillyMasters.com . And I even answer your questions. Just send them along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Trevor turns up in a George Michael video! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
