"Honestly? That would be the coolest thing ever! If you're going to have a kiss like that on TV it might as well be on the biggest show on television. Go big or go home."—Darren Criss talks about how he'd feel about kissing Chris Colfer on Glee. Go big or go home? How big, exactly, are we talking?
The American people should not have the right to vote. I'm not talking about the recent mid-term elections. I'm talking about Dancing with the Stars ( DWTS ) . Now, I have nothing against Bristol Palin—aside from the ludicrous term "teen activist." Take her wacky mom out of the equation and she seems like a perfectly nice girl who's obviously working hard each week. But come on America—enough is enough. I refuse to believe that even Republicans are willing to keep voting for someone who is obviously not qualified. Wait, let me rethink that one...
I recently told you that Israel's "DWTS" includes a lesbian celebrity paired with a female pro. That story got so much press, the domestic version of the show is considering a similar move. Gay-friendly Carrie Ann Inaba said, "I fully support that and I think America is ready for that. Our country is much more accepting of same-sex couples and it would be great for the country to reflect that. I don't cast the show, but I think it would be great and I'd show up in my rainbow colors and fully support it." Bruno would probably wear a rainbow thong, but then again he'd probably do that on a regular week. The producers had a chance with Lance Bass a couple years back, but an insider claims "two men would be less accepted than two gorgeous ladies"—which, I sadly concede, is probably the truth. I'd certainly have enjoyed watching Lance and Derek do the samba, but I suspect Middle America would not. But, as we all know, everybody loves a lesbian ( which I believe was a song in the '70s ) . I hear the show would love to snag Portia DeGeneres—a move that would likely bring in a record number of straight male viewers. Ryan Seacrest was chatting with DeGeneres and asked if she'd accept or pass on the offer: "I'm not going to pass! Let me think about it. I used to be a ballet dancer. It's not completely a pass. You never know!"
The next installment of The Real World is currently filming in Las Vegas. The roommates will be housed at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in what is called "the ultimate party loft." So far, it doesn't sound that different from when the show was in Vegas in 2002. Back then, the cast lived at the Palms Casino and Resort complete with a hot tub that resembled a petri dish! Anyhoo, this new cast will include Dustin Zito, who has worked under the name "Spencer" for FratPad.com, an online porn site that features ( again, in their own words ) "fratmen and straight frat boys in sizzling hot chat and webcam shows." In other words, they have sex with each other, but in a straight, manly kinda way. As one of the models on the site explains, "All our shows are archived so you can see what you missed. Or you can enjoy it all again. Or you can suck my dick—I don't give a shit. Fuck you!" Well, isn't that special. Zito is a 24-year-old graduate of Lamar University. He was open about his "previous employment" and the producers had no problem with that—as long as the adult content was scrubbed from the Internet. Apparently nobody checked with moi since I've got oodles and oodles of material. About seven inches of it. All on BillyMasters.com .
I don't know who originally came up with the idea of holding a White Party in Miami over Thanksgiving weekend, but he needs to be punished. As if it's not hard enough to look good in a white ensemble, it's nearly impossible to do so days after a holiday where the main objective is to eat as much as possible. This explains why I've never attended—until now. When Care Resources ( the people behind the soirée ) announced that 2010 would be the last time the party would take place at the fabled Vizcaya mansion, I put it on my itinerary. With the assistance of my SoBe beau Dan Renzi, I wrote up a story for my Boston paper, Bay Windows—it can also be found on my website. If you can't attend ( details at WhiteParty.org ) , you can be sure to read our recap on BillyMasters.com .
Our favorite elf, Leslie Jordan, has put together a special holiday show and is taking it on the road. "Deck Them Halls Y'All!" will hit San Diego, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Atlanta and Los Angeles—specific details can be found on his website, TheLeslieJordan.com . Unlike most of Leslie's shows, which are autobiographical, this one will feature a variety of characters sharing their holiday memories—both positive and poignant. I'm told there will be songs, dance and costumes—"Honey, it is a dog and pony show!" Wow, a real pony? Probably not, but I'll still go to the Dec. 5 show at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts in Fort Lauderdale. See ya there.
Once the holidays are over, we'll still have something to celebrate. Like the fact that Harvey Fierstein will join the Broadway cast of La Cage aux Folles! He may have written the book for the hit musical 25 years ago, but this will mark his first time appearing in the show ( playing Albin ) . His limited run will start Feb. 15—only two days after the birthday of yours truly. Hmmm ... I might have to plan a special Big Apple Birthday!
When visions of Harvey Fierstein are dancing in my head, it's definitely time to end yet another column. First Leslie as an elf and now this? It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and it's not even Thanksgiving yet! But we never take a holiday from dishing over at www.BillyMasters.com . If you've got a question, go ahead and write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I winch myself into a pair of white jeans ( which could take a while ) ! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
