Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-12-08
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor


  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2010-09-29

This article shared 2257 times since Wed Sep 29, 2010
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


"Ray is gay for Fey ...absolutely! I love a funny woman. Ray is gay for Fey."—Rachael Ray tells Joy Behar about her same-sex crush on Tina Fey. If Joy could find someone whose name rhymes with Behar, maybe she'd be getting some action!

It may be not be spring, but this is a time when the smart people set out to find a mate for the upcoming winter months. After all, most sensible folk are wearing more clothing given the nip in the air. ( My nips continue being sassy regardless of the temperature. ) There's less of a need to look cute in revealing outfits, and more of a need to cuddle in the cold. A friend of mine recently purchased a one-month membership to Match.com . After dozens of e-mails, a fistful of phone calls and a week-long marathon of first dates, he came up empty-handed. But at least he has two hands. One of his most compatible matches was with a guy whose online photo made it clear that he was missing a hand ... and most of his arm. But on the other hand ( so to speak ) , the guy is quite handsome and claims to be successful. And he can get all the good parking spots at the mall. I'd snap him up in a second!

The fall also means yet another season of Dancing with the Stars. I'm not sure how we're defining "stars" these days, but most of them have a fan base. That's why I was sure that David Hasselhoff was safe, despite his lackluster performance ( and spooky eye job ) . Alas, he's history. I was also sure that Margaret Cho would be canned. In her pre-taped piece, she said her goal was to do an elegant Viennese waltz to show that she was a lady. She ended up looking like Mothra attacking Hollywood! I know she's supportive of us, but this was ridiculous.

Then there's Jennifer Grey. Ever since she was cast, I've been telling people that just because she was in Dirty Dancing doesn't give her the edge. It was all Patrick Swayze tossing her around like a rag doll. Then we had the "Dancing" premiere, and Jen explained she wanted to reclaim something that gave her such joy—dancing. Well, "reclaim" means she once "claimed" it, which means at least she considered herself a dancer. I was rolling my eyes before that little breakdown in the rehearsal room. I'm still not sure how real that was. It did kinda come out of nowhere, which makes me think it was acting—except I'm not convinced Jennifer's that good an actress.

Am I the only one struck by the fact that this is the first cast of Dancing with the Stars to have a body count before they even started rehearsals? We're up to three corpses ( plus one in a chair ) . It's like a touring company of Chicago! Maybe Jennifer and Brandy could do the Hot Honey Rag."

I adore Patti LuPone. That's not to say she's not insane; she is. But she realizes it and almost revels in it, and that puts her miles ahead of delusional divas who don't understand why people think they're difficult. Patti relives each and every hurt from her professional ( and, to a lesser extent, personal ) life in the just-released autobiography "Patti LuPone—A Memoir." LuPone goes out of her way to say she doesn't hold a grudge. That said, she also doesn't forget them. She recounts each tragic tale with passion and a wry sense of black humor. For example, she spends two chapters on the "Sunset Blvd" debacle ( chapters I'm sure you'll immediately turn to ) . While she's not sure how complicit Glenn Close may have been in getting her fired from the Broadway production, she openly muses that had the situation been reversed, she would have immediately called Glenn to either apologize or commiserate. Then, several pages later, LuPone will drop in, "Oh, did I mention Glenn Close never, ever called me?" God love her! But, even better is the unabridged book on CD—"performed by the author." Fabulous!

Just as our last column was going to press, we got word that Adam Lambert had "viciously attacked" a photographer on Miami Beach. Apparently Adam was in SoBe enjoying a few days in the sun prior to a concert. He was clad in long shorts, a tank top and one of those straw cowboy hats they used to plop on Rose Kennedy's head when they'd drag her out—literally—for the annual Kennedy clambake! A photographer wouldn't leave Lambert alone, so Adam chased the snapper and allegedly "tackled" him while trying to grab the camera, which had been stuffed inside his backpack. Ironically, another paparazzo was on hand and captured the entire incident—showing Lambert's "tackle" to be more akin to a spirited game of touch football. The photo also shows the photographer laughing. The police are not pursuing the matter, but the snapper could still press charges. You can see the pics on BillyMasters.com .

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Jay in Houston: "Do you watch 'The Rachel Zoe Project'? Her assistant, Brad, is so hot in that nerdy kinda way. Do you know anything about him or have any hot pics of him?"

I wouldn't necessarily call the 33-year-old Brad Goreski "nerdy." He certainly has a preppy or dapper style with his black-rimmed glasses, bowties and skinny pants. It's a very distinct, funky, retro look. I think Brad favors these tailored silhouettes because he claims to have been a fat kid. But he certainly ain't fat now—as is evidenced in the shirtless snaps we've dug up. He's got a well-defined torso—not in that porn star way, but in that real guy way. And since I know you're interested, he's been in a monogamous relationship for the past nine years. Still, there's nothing wrong with looking. Feel free to look at him all you want at BillyMasters.com .

When I'm comparing Adam Lambert to Rose Kennedy, it's definitely time to end yet another column. For all of your gossip needs, head on over to www.BillyMasters.com where we tackle the tough stories. And if you have a question, just write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Glenn calls Patti. ( Have I mentioned that she's never, ever called her? ) So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 2257 times since Wed Sep 29, 2010
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Bulls, Blackhawks fall short; 'Hawks reschedule games
2022-01-22
In NBA action, the Chicago Bulls (28-16) fell short against the defending-champion Milwaukee Bucks (29-19), losing 94-90 in Wisconsin on Jan. 21. Bulls coach Billy Donovan was livid after the game. He was upset about Bucks ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Colton Underwood, Golden Globes and more
2022-01-17
"I was not prepared to receive death threats over a fictional character's fictional relationship choices that are fictional which means not real."—A writer on the Sex and the City sequel And Just Like That describes feedback ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Andy Cohen, SJP and more
2022-01-10
The virus hit us both like a freight train. Thankfully, we were both triple vaccinated and the vaccinations did their job, which kept us out of real danger and out of the hospital… [We're] still isolating and waiting to see until we test ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Lindsay Wagner, Andy Cohen and more
2022-01-03
"You spread misinformation about the safety of vaccines. You're a danger to public health. Get fucked."—Meghan McCain's tweet to commentator Candace Owens, after Owens did what Meg calls a "post-[Trump] ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-12-27
"A little prick is better than no prick at all."—Billy Masters. That was my motto when it came to getting the vaccine against the coronavirus. Ironically, the more people got little pricks, the more we all ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Rex Smith, 'West Side Story' and more
2021-12-20
"It was pretty damn good!"—Rex Smith's response when Billy showed a risqué photo of Rex at his most beautiful and asked, "What was it like walking around looking like that?" I love when someone that gorgeous ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Jussie Smollett, Bob Mackie, Luke Evans and more
2021-12-13
Billy Masters: Jussie Smollett, Bob Mackie, Luke Evans and more "It's the Mariah Menu. It's not just the Mariah Meal. It's a whole menu."—Mariah Carey explains her deal with McDonald's. Sure, you could say, "I'll have ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-12-06
"I would literally walk around naked in public all the time, at least for that day. …. I just wouldn't wear clothes. I wouldn't care how cold it would be."—Dustin Lance Black reveals what he would ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-11-29
"The obvious one would be A Little Night Music. I know I could do that role very well now that I've gotten to this stage in my life, and you know it's a beautiful song in there. It's perfection."—Sarah Brightman reveals ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-11-22
"Back in the '80s, I did blow at that Chevron and dropped acid at that 7-Eleven."—Belinda Carlisle gives her son, James Duke Mason, a walking tour of West Hollywood. Watch The Go-Go's get inducted into the ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-11-15
"I was like, 'I hope this doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, but this is how I feel.' I love this person, and I want to be open in every way … and hopefully show people that they also don't need to hide ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-11-08
"Of course I have. I'm an actor, for f**k's sake!"—Tom Hardy, when asked if he's had sex with men. Good to know. Sherri Shepherd is having a busy fall. She kicked off October by returning to ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-11-01
"Happy Birthday to @jessetyler the object of my desire. This love affair has gone on for what seems like an eternity...I love this man more than pussy."—Lea DeLaria posts a very disturbing Instagram birthday greeting to ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-10-25
"There was talk of Harry Styles, but I think he ran. He was too scared."—Boy George discusses who will play him in a biopic—or, rather, who won't. The frontrunner currently is Yungblud—a young British singer. If ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ JoJo Siwa, Haring/Ortiz mural, Jamie Lee Curtis, Billy Porter
2021-10-24
Dancing the foxtrot alongside partner Jenna Johnson to Olivia Newton John's "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)" for Dancing with the Stars' Grease night, 18-year-old social-media star JoJo Siwa received the season's first perfec ...


 



Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.