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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2010-09-22

This article shared 2126 times since Wed Sep 22, 2010
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"I was offered to do a porno movie. It was a masturbation movie. I looked at it and said no. It's dirty. So I won't do porn. I won't do anything where I have to wear a big fuzzy animal costume, like no 'Disney On Ice' or anything, and that's basically it. I'll try pretty much anything else. I mean, I don't want to drive a Zamboni!"—Johnny Weir

It almost looked like George Michael was going to get away with a slap on the wrist for driving under the influence back in July. As we reported, last month he pled guilty and the judge suspended his license for five years—with a caveat: "I make it clear the options in respect of sentence remain open, including the power to imprison." That option was picked up and Georgie faces eight weeks in jail. Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a punishment?? I guess the punishment is that he'll only get to serve four of the weeks, with the other four being served under supervised probation. Why, that's barely long enough to meet a couple of dozen insignificant others.

At least George got to answer the charges. What about allegations against dead celebs? What rights do they have? For instance, in his upcoming biography of Paul Newman, author Darwin Porter includes portions of an interview he did with Marlon Brando in 2004. It should be noted that around this time, Marlon was nutty as a fruitcake and was kissing Larry King on the lips. Brando is quoted as saying, "He never fooled me. Paul Newman had just as many on-location affairs as the rest of us, and he was just as bisexual as I was. But, where I was always getting caught with my pants down, he managed to do it in the dark." Porter's investigation also turns up evidence of a sexual relationship between Newman and James Dean. So, lemme get this straight—we're taking the word of a nut who is now deceased discussing the sex life of two other dead celebrities, and the only one who could set the whole mess straight is Joanne Woodward? This is gonna be like who really killed JFK ... Joanne ain't sayin' nothing.

Does Josh Duhamel have something to hide? Yes, indeedy. When it came time to shoot the poster for his flick Life As We Know It ( where he teams up with that Heigl woman ) , he only would agree to appear in his boxer briefs if some judicious and delicious Photoshopping was done. OK, so you think he wants a bubble butt. Or a bigger package. But, no. "I was like, 'OK, dude, I'll do the underwear. But please make my right calf look a little bit bigger. I ruptured my Achilles, like six years ago and it never grew back, so it's like half the size of the other one." That's his big secret? He's ashamed of his calves? Really, Duhamel? I've seen your nude photos and your calves are the last place I'd start! I'm just sayin'. And I'm just showing on BillyMasters.com .

It's rare that New York gets a theatrical event after Los Angeles. But six months after a 25th-anniversary reading of Larry Kramer's The Normal Heart was staged in L.A., a one-night-only benefit for the Actor's Fund has been scheduled for NYC on Oct. 18 at the Walter Kerr Theatre. Like the L.A. reading, this will be directed by Joel Grey, who appeared in the original production ( replacing Brad Davis ) . What was cryptically referred to as an "all-star cast" is starting to shape up rather nicely. Taking on the Davis/Grey role of "Ned Weeks" will be Joe Mantello, making a rare return to the spotlight. ( He hasn't acted onstage since the original production of Angels in America. ) Joining him will be Victor Garber, Jason Butler Harner, John Benjamin Hickey and Patrick Wilson.

This week's "Ask Billy" question comes from Patrick in Manchester, England: "Big fan here in the UK. Love your style—just 'mazing! Do you know about Ian Watkins from 'Lostprophets'? There's supposed to be a video of him having gay sex, but none of the papers here will cover the story or run any photos. You must know something."

When I first read the name Ian Watkins, I was sure he meant the cutie from the pop group Steps who came out last year. But apparently there's another one. Lostprophets is a Welsh rock band who has done very well on the alternative charts in the U.K. with a unique combination of punk and pop. Lead singer Ian Watkins is kinda broody and grungy and has been linked with a number of high-profile Brit babes. A couple of weeks ago, word of a sex tape surfaced that apparently contains footage of Ian cavorting with a girl and a guy. The photo that we've obtained clearly shows Ian chomping down on some bloke's cock—no gal in sight. Now this could all be a publicity ploy. When the story first surfaced, Ian tweeted, "I love it when a plan comes together." Could he have orchestrated it? Who knows? But a cute guy sucking dick is definitely gonna show up on BillyMasters.com .

When popping up in a gay sex tape is considered a career move, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I still can't get over Josh Duhamel. You wanna be complimented on your calves, Josh? Start hanging out with baby sheep. How hard is that? Certainly no harder than going to www.BillyMasters.com—the site where you can see everything the celebs wish you didn't. Busy scheduled coming up—Sept. 24 in San Francisco for the GayVNs. Gay Days Anaheim on Oct. 2, Divas Simply Singing on Oct. 9. And you people wonder why I stay away from L.A.? I'm exhausted already! If you have a need, a question, a copy of my itinerary, just drop a note to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before George Michael asks for his sentence to be extended! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 2126 times since Wed Sep 22, 2010
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