"Get away from me. I'm still writing letters of apology from last year. Screw you. You're not sticking those jugs in my face again!"—Jerry Lewis avoids an embrace from Charo, who happened to be wearing fruit on her head during this year's MDA Telethon. Lewis is alluding to the spicy Spaniard's appearance last year where she sat on his lap during a rendition of Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop The Music."
Ellen DeGeneres doesn't spend much time in NYC, so she made the most of her recent visit to the Big Apple. First she dropped by the Ed Sullivan Theatre to deliver a special Top Ten list to David Letterman—"Things That Have Been on Ellen DeGeneres's Mind Lately." The number-one thing on Ellen's mind was, "Man, my wife's hot!" And with that, she exited the building holding hands with said hot wife, Portia de Rossi ( soon to be DeGeneres ) , posed for a few snaps and dashed down the street to make her Broadway debut. It was more like an unbilled cameo, but I'd still put it on my resume! The lucky show was Promises, Promises. In the first act, the characters played by Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes run into each other in the waiting room of the company doctor. In the middle of their awkward small talk, who comes charging in but Nurse Ellen ( who, I'm told, had all the grace of Nurse Jackie ) . Needless to say, the audience went nuts. She was only on stage for a minute or so, but it was great fun—and you'll get to see it when she shows the footage on her daytime talk show on Sept. 21.
We keep hearing that the Sherman Brothers have retooled their musical Over Here! and are hoping to revive it on Broadway next March. Attached to the show is cute little Cody Linley, who was on Hannah Montana and Dancing with the Stars a few seasons back. This musical was originally conceived for Patty and Maxene Andrews, and also featured quite a few future stars in small parts—including Marilu Henner, Ann Reinking, Treat Williams and John Travolta. When asked if she thought way back then that Travolta had star potential, Maxene reportedly said this: "I never expected him to hit it so big. I mean, he just seemed like a nice young man who was sleeping with all the other young men in the cast." Straight from one of the Andrews Sisters!
That leads directly to our next story. The main image on the Sept. 13 issue of the National Enquirer is a large photo of Travolta in an open bathrobe with the headline "Just week before wife Kelly gives birth ... John Travolta Caught in Cheating Scandal!" with the subheading: "I saw him with his lover and he couldn't get enough!" Enough? Enough what? Fries? Slices of pizza? 'Cause I'm looking at the photo and it looks to me like someone who can't get enough food! The story inside has a headline: "Shocking New Claim: John Travolta Cheats on Wife—With Gay Men." Huh? Is it shocking? Is it new? Is it a claim? The entire article is based on a book by Robert Randolph called You'll Never Spa in This Town Again—so not only is he not bothered by recycling stories, he also doesn't mind recycling titles! Randolph says that all of his stories have been verified—in many cases, by himself. He claims that while he turned down Travolta's sexual advances on numerous occasions, he personally witnessed Johnny having sex with men at three separate facilities in L.A.—as recently as last October. He also apparently has dirt on several other famous actors, and he's naming names. Here's how he's promoting his book: "Find out what John Travolta, John Amos, John Cusack, Jeremy Piven, Pauly Shore, George Michael, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Billy Zane, Andy Dick, Paul Giamatti and more have in common—and it's not awards!" Well, of course not. Most of them have never even been to an awards show!
The Enquirer sure is on a roll. According to its source, after Jim Parsons won the Emmy for best actor in a comedy," he walked off stage, went directly to longtime boyfriend Todd Spiewak and said, "The only thing that would make this moment perfect is if you'd agree to marry me." Allegedly Todd said, "Yes." The rag claims that the fellas are planning a Christmas ceremony in Massachusetts, where gay marriages are legal. And where Billy Masters will be over the holidays, should anyone be in need of an organist, a witness, a photographer or a spy!
For our "Ask Billy" question, I'm going to lump a bunch of people together who have asked me about the hot guy in the "Zoosk" commercials. You know—the fantasy man who keeps banging into the woman. That fantastic physique and face belong to Thierre Di Castro ( whose name at one point included Garrito ) . The 6'2" Adonis is a highly sought-after Brazilian model, who has even done Calvin Klein ... I mean runway shows for CK undies, silly! Way back in 1996, he represented his native Brazil in the Mister World Pageant, but he didn't win. However, he did the 2010 Model Universe Championship. I believe what put him over the top was doing his physique routine in a tiny "posing suit." We'll post that video on BillyMasters.com—along with other sizzling skin-exposing snaps.
Back in April of 2009, Di Castro was featured on the cover of Men's Health en Espanol. I'm only bringing this up in order to mention that Rob Lowe will be on the cover of the October 2010 issue of Men's Health ( en Inglés, naturally ) . While he certainly looks better than most of his contemporaries, am I the only one who notes more than a hint of Jayne Mansfield in his stance? Check it out on BillyMasters.com and see for yourself.
When I'm comparing Rob Lowe to a long-departed pin-up, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Didya know that unlike some of those other online dating services, Zoosk is LGBT-friendly? "Zoosk is a service that welcomes all people of all genders and sexualities and identities." I'm gonna have to check that out. Of course, you should check out www.BillyMasters.com, another site that welcomes all people. If you need some personal attention, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Thierre is featured in a gay Zoosk commercial. ( I can dream. ) Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
