"I loved it this season when girls went crazy for me. As far as I'm concerned, it's all hot. Just because I'm not sticking it in there doesn't mean that I don't find it beautiful."—Just a bit of Adam Lambert's eloquent prose from the "Rolling Stone" interview. Next thing he'll tell us he's a devotee of Georgia O'Keefe!
We interrupt this regularly scheduled column to announce that the artist formerly known as Chastity Bono, daughter of Sonny and Cher, will now go by Chaz Bono, son of Sonny and Cher! Yes, that strapping gal is undergoing gender reassignment and transitioning into a man—which may surprise those of you who thought she already was a man! It reminds me of a story someone told me at GLAAD. After Chastity resigned, they found a huge dildo in the back of one of her desk drawers. Now they'll find an itty-bitty one in her drawers!
In one last late breaking story, how'd ya like to see hunky Dustin Lance Black naked? Sure, you weren't excited over Chastity's penis, but this one got your attention! Stills from a sex tape featuring Mr. Black have surfaced that not only show every inch of the Oscar winner ( I'd say about 6.5" ) , but also show him performing oral sex on his well-hung partner and bottoming! Am I mistaken or is the activist being entered without a condom? Yes, indeedy. Bad, bad Black. Until the video surfaces, you can take in every inch of him at BillyMasters.com .
The Tony Awards are typically one of the lowest-rated award shows on television. However, this year's ratings were up 19% over last year ...which may not seem like much, but a bump's a bump. Some of the credit must go to Neil Patrick Harris, who hosted with grace and humor ( and sported a snappy shiny suit ) .
Coming up this fall is the Broadway revival of "Bye Bye Birdie", starring John Stamos and Gina Gershon, as Birdie's manager and secretary respectively. What will be more interesting to my readers is the one person not getting any press—"Birdie", himself. That role will be played be hunky Nolan Gerard Funk. Does that name ring a bell? He's was the lead in Nickelodeon's "High School Musical" rip-off, "Spectacular". At the time, I told you that he had a past stripping in gay bars here in LA. Small world, isn't it?
The least gossipy news of the week is the "bombshell" that Adam Lambert is gay. YAWN. In the "Rolling Stone" cover story, he says that he felt coming out during "American Idol" would have overshadowed his singing, which is probably true. But he was totally out to everyone at Idol—including his roommate, Kris Allen. In fact, the big revelation in the article was that Adam had a crush on Kris! "They put me with the cute guy. Distracting! He's the one guy I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type—except that he has a wife. I mean he's open-minded and liberal, but he's definitely 100% straight." There's the problem.
"One Life To Live" is adding a gay couple to their show, and it's two awfully hot guys. Brett Claywell and Scott Evans—who is the virtual look-alike brother of film hunk Chris Evans. Scott is gay in real life, and he's playing a cop—yum! According to the storyline, the two characters had a fling in college, which they attempt to rekindle in present day. Problems arise when another gay character comes into town. It's like "One Gay at a Time"!
It seems the gay couples are more stable than the straight ones. Remember when Melissa Gilbert was engaged to Rob Lowe? People always wondered why they broke up. Now Half Pint is telling all in an autobiography called "Prairie Tales"—get it? Aside from all that boring crap, she reveals that she got pregnant with Lowe's child. When she told him, he said, "I can't be a father. I can't be a husband. I'm so sorry." And that was that. Soon after that, she suffered a miscarriage. "I had lost my baby and my relationship with Rob...and it hurt like hell."
Perpetual virgin Brooke Shields feels she waited too long to give it away. But she feels emotionally she was unable to connect with someone else because she hadn't learned to love herself. "I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did, at 22, because I would have been much more in touch with myself." Another problem might have been that until she was 22, she'd only dated gay guys!
This week's "Ask Billy" question is from Kale in Chicago: "Did you see the picture of Barbara Bush with some hot guy in a Speedo ( with a huge bulge ) at her birthday party? Who was he?"
In news stories regarding Mrs. Bush's 84th birthday pool party, most articles said that some cast members from a "local production of 'A Chorus Line' were in attendance." Let me be the first to explain to you this wasn't like the Kennebunk Port High School production. It's the Ogunquit Playhouse production starring Lorenzo Lamas—which I told you about months ago. Real Broadway-caliber folks perform there...in addition to Lamas. The hot guy in question is 24 year-old hottie Justin Clynes, and he's most definitely a Broadway babe. He was in the recent revival of "The Ritz" where he played a towel-wearing, bathhouse-cruising type. He's also a model, and we've unearthed quite a few photos showing off his fabulous flesh and a penchant for publicizing his pubes. Oh, did I mention he's done underwear modeling? You're right—he does have a huge bulge. And, in case any of you are wondering ( and I know you are ) , he's circumcised. If I know my fans, they'll all be headed to BillyMasters.com .
When I'm talking about hot guys' packages and Barbara's Bush, it's definitely time to end yet another column. By the time this runs, LA Pride will be a thing of a past. And that can only mean two things—I've proven once again that I'm multi-orgasmic and I'll have no voice ( strangely, those two truisms will be revealed at the same time ) . I'll probably tell you about the festivities next week. Until then, check out www.BillyMasters.com for the dishiest dish around. For your questions, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Chastity shows off her bulge! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
These columns sometimes have a way of developing themes. This week's "Ask Billy" query comes from Will in Las Vegas: "I keep seeing Russell Brand here in town, and he's really hot in a kinda dirty/nasty way. Has he ever shown his dick in a film? He looks like the type that wouldn't be shy."
And he's not. That's the Brits for you—they get their naughty bits right out there. At one point in "RE:Brand" ( a UK reality show he did back in 2002 ) , he takes in a homeless guy and gives him a bath. He gets in the tub with the guy, during which Brand quite matter-of-factly lets his own genitals dangle about ( short and stubby are the words that spring to mind ) . We are happy to run stills and footage on BillyMasters.com .
When I have more penii than you can shake a stick at, we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. On my flight back to LA, I found myself hob-nobbing with Justin Guarini. And soon I'll be with more "Idol" alums while hosting the mainstage of LA Pride over the weekend of June 13-14. If you're not around, I'm only a click of a mouse away. Just cruise on over to www.BillyMasters.com for the best dish around. For your personal needs, drop a note to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Brand foists his genitals on anyone else ( if only he needed to hoist 'em! ) . So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
