"I was so excited when someone told me that Lil Nas X had done my song #Jolene. I had to find it and listen to it immediately … and it's really good. Of course, I love him anyway. I was surprised and I'm honored and flattered."—Dolly Parton's Instagram response to Lil Nas X covering her 1973 hit … with a gay twist, naturally.
Have you heard of "stealthing?" It's when a guy slips off his condom during sex without your consent. Of course, there are (dare I say) ramifications to such actions—such as pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases or even death. California is on the brink of becoming the first state to make "stealthing" illegal. The state legislature has passed a bill to deem the practice sexual battery, so now it's up to Gov. Gavin Newsom. By the way, countries such as the United Kingdom and Germany already consider it a crime, under the heading of sexual assault.
Remember when I told you that Rachel Maddow made a sweet deal with MSNBC? Now that the details have gone public, some of her colleagues are not so happy—particularly because her $30-million contract set a record previously held by Matt Lauer (speaking of sexual assault). Interestingly enough, the person most annoyed by Rachel's raise is Savannah Guthrie. She feels she's being underutilized. Funny: I think she's utilized plenty.
Bad blood is nothing new in the news business. Remember Barbara Walters and Harry Reasoner? Or Barbara Walters and the chimp? People usually don't go public with their grievances until they have nothing to lose. And that brings us to Katie Couric's new memoir, Going There. So rarely has one person been given so many opportunities and squandered each and every one. Couric has bounced from outlet to outlet with alarming regularity. Her last employer was Yahoo—and when you can't make it on Yahoo, that's that. Some of Couric's targets include Martha Stewart, Matt Lauer, Ashley Banfield, Larry King, Deborah Norville and even Diane Sawyer. "I loved that I was getting under Diane's skin," says Couric. Oh, but it gets better: "I'm pretty sure I speak for Diane when I say neither of us ever resorted to actual fellatio to land an interview." Or, I daresay, a spouse!! People who have read the manuscript are saying she'll never work in news again. I could have told you that BEFORE the book!
In the early days of this column, readers would often ask me to track down information about some of their favorite stars of yesteryear. One of the most popular people was Tommy Kirk, star of Old Yeller and numerous Disney films. He was also an early victim of homophobia. Kirk once said, "Disney was a family film studio, and I was supposed to be their young leading man. After they found out I was involved with someone, that was the end of Disney." Although his career did indeed take a hit, he did manage to find sporadic work over the years—and became somewhat legendary for going public with his sexuality at a time when it meant career suicide. Rest in peace.
Someone else who wrestled with his sexuality was Aaron Hernandez. Although his story has been told ad nauseum, get ready for a new take … courtesy of Ryan Murphy. Yes, the tight end will be the subject of a new limited series called American Sports Story. Details to follow…
Bethenny Frankel is in trouble for some colorful language she used on her "Just B" podcast. Apparently, the school that B's 11-year-old daughter attends had a Zoom meeting about "pronouns"—which led to some questions from her daughter. Beth then segued into a story about a transgender child who attended an all-girls camp. This was not a personal anecdote—Frankel's daughter does not attend overnight camp. This was just a story Bethenny heard: "A person with a penis, who identifies as a girl, went to the camp and was in the bunk with the girls. So the other girls saw a penis. They're 9, 10 years old, so the parents obviously weren't that happy." As someone who never went to overnight camp myself, let me ask: Is it customary for pre-teens to show genitalia to their fellow campers? Because, boy, did I miss out! Then Bethenny added that the trans child "was making out with a lot of different girls at the camp." Again, where is this camp where 9-year-olds are showing off their genitalia and making out?? And, what does this have to do with a school explaining the correct use of pronouns?
Could it be that a certain busy blonde is brighter than we think? Well, she'd have to be, wouldn't she? I'm told that despite her ever-present grief, she's calculated every subsequent step of her career with some fancy footwork. While I find it unseemly to use tragedy for personal gain, a buck's a buck. It's bold. It's clever. But it's icky. In the words of AJ Benza—"Fame—ain't it a bitch." And, so I'm told, is the subject of this blind item.
When I'm dancing as fast as I can, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Yes, I made it back from Europe unscathed, unharmed and uninfected. And, unlike Couric, I actually have work to get back to. In addition to this column, "Billy Masters LIVE" will be back with new episodes later this month. In the meantime, you can keep up with all of my many endeavors on BillyMasters.com—the site that endeavors to satisfy. We may not have had room for an "Ask Billy" question this week, but you can still write to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I teach Diane and Katie the art of fellatio. So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
