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Billy Masters: Andy Cohen, SJP and more
by Billy Masters
2022-01-10

This article shared 1436 times since Mon Jan 10, 2022
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"The virus hit us both like a freight train. Thankfully, we were both triple vaccinated and the vaccinations did their job, which kept us out of real danger and out of the hospital… [We're] still isolating and waiting to see until we test negative before we move forward and can go out of the house."—John Barrowman and hubby Scott caught COVID over the holidays.

While the New Year rang in on CNN, gays from hither and yon debated if Andy Cohen was a jocular gent or a loveable louse. "I will not be shamed for having fun on New Year's Eve—that's why I'm there," said Cohen. No one debated having fun on NYE—it's having it on CNN that was the issue. After much speculation, the network brass weighed in: "Andy said something he shouldn't have on live TV. We've addressed it with him and look forward to having him back again next year." What Cohen said was, "Ryan Seacrest's group of losers that are performing behind us. I mean, with all due...if you've been watching ABC tonight, you've seen nothing. I'm sorry." The next morning, Cohen felt differently: "The only thing that I regret saying—the only thing is that I slammed the ABC broadcast, and I really like Ryan Seacrest and he's a great guy. And I really regret saying that, and I was just stupid and drunk and feeling it." The issue is the close friendship Cohen and Cooper have with Kelly Ripa—who co-hosts her daytime show with Ryan. Andy's crack puts Ripa in the middle—not helped by the fact that both Cohen and Cooper coveted Seacrest's seat (so to speak). It surely makes for an awkward Sunday funday.

Sarah Jessica Parker is terribly upset about Chris Noth. She's pissed off that his behavior could tarnish the legacy of Sex and the City (to say nothing of the hobbling And Just Like That). What she doesn't seem too concerned about is that his career is in shambles and that he's been roundly vilified. We're told that an apparition of Mr. Big was filmed as part of the season finale. Well, that's now on the cutting-room floor. In the episode, Carrie goes to Paris to scatter Big's ashes. Rather than commune with her dearly departed hubby, perhaps she'll run into her Parisian-based ex, Mikhail Baryshnikov. After all, aren't all her mates somewhat interchangeable?

Picture it: New York City, 2007. An attractive young man is visiting from Utah, trying to decide if he should relocate and pursue his dream of acting. He's snagged a cheap standing room ticket for The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. When the show ends, a man and a woman come up to him and say, "You look like you were enjoying that show more than people who are sitting in the expensive seats." The man then gives the strapping young lad $200 and tells him he should use the money to buy a ticket to see Patti LuPone in Sweeney Todd, saying, "It'll change your life." Not only does the boy do as told (proving he can take direction), he also thinks that if a stranger is willing to do this for him, maybe he should make the move. The Utahan is Claybourne Elder, who is now appearing with La LuPone in Company. And when he shared the story on Twitter, someone knew the man with deep pockets—Mark Howell (who's pretty hot himself). Now, let me tell you the Billy Masters version of this story. A hot guy is in standing room. Another guy hands him $200. Hot guy says, "Hmm—maybe I should move to NYC." It's not a Disney ending … unless you recall that studio also released Pretty Woman.

Yoshinori Horie is a Japanese MMA star. When he was 21, he was having trouble paying for his martial arts training. That's when a friend told him that he could make easy money giving "hand jobs." The arrangements were made, and Yoshinori got $175 for less than an hour's work. Horie shared this story on social media, and added the following (but bear in mind this is a Google translation): "I was able to face martial arts in a short time, exceeding the amount of 2 days of part-time work that I do for 8 hours while standing. It's pretty painful now, but as long as I'm alive I can chance my dreams! And I like women, not gays! I've done the money to live to do martial arts." I only have one question—which part was "pretty painful?" Carpal tunnel? Asking for a friend...

Meanwhile in Singapore, a popular OnlyFans personality was arrested on multiple charges of obscenity and electronic transmission of pornography. Police claim Titus Low, 22, was repeatedly warned that posting on OnlyFans was considered a violation of the law. It should be noted that the sale and distribution of adult content is illegal in Singapore—as is gay sex. Apparently, the police were tipped off to Low's identity in a complaint filed against him on Sept. 4. Titus was warned not to access his OnlyFans account—where he made a five-figure monthly salary! He's currently out on bail and is allegedly cooperating with authorities.

When you can make more money online than in person with your hand, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Thank God I've got BillyMasters.com—the site where you'll need to use both hands! If you need a third, I'm always glad to lend a helping hand (or whatever appendage you're in need of). Just drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I find out the conversion from yen! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 1436 times since Mon Jan 10, 2022
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