"But we can curl your hair and put lotion on your face at the same time."—William Shatner's response to Prince William's criticism of space tourism. Are there any people less likely to be discussing hair than these two Williams?
I can't believe it. I completely missed National Coming Out Day—not that I typically do much of anything to celebrate. It's not like I'd chop down a tree, eat a special meal or dress in a silly costume; I'm not from Arkansas! No: I usually think about how fortunate I am to live in a time and place where people can be open about their sexual identity. And then have anonymous sex with as many men as possible. What can I say? I'm a romantic.
It was the day after National Coming Out Day that I read about President Joe Biden condemning anti-gay legislation in various states. That's how you make progress. Then I read that Carl Nassib, the openly gay pro football player, said the most important part of coming out was finding that special somebody. See? We have something in common. Last night, I met a dozen special someones—none that I could identify in a police lineup, but that's probably for the best. Anyway, Carl said, "I just wanted to be someone's number one priority, and I couldn't have that. So that was the one thing where I was like, 'Man, I really fucking want that.' But I got that now, so it's good. Oh, I met an awesome guy. He's the best."
Carl declined to elaborate on who he is dating, but he did reveal that he planned on coming out a year earlier. Blame the delay on that pesky pandemic. While he had some trepidation about telling his story, he said, "Everyone responded so well. I was like, 'Damn, these are good dudes!'" Well, not everyone. Jon Gruden, the head coach of the Las Vegas Raiders (the team Carl plays for), sent emails containing homophobic, transphobic, racist and misogynistic content between 2011-18 to various NFL colleagues. While this was long before his tenure with the Raiders, he was obliged to resign over the revelation. Consequently, Carl took a personal day. "He just said he's got a lot to process; there's a lot that's been going on the last few days and, of course, we support that request," said the team's general manager.
Last week I, too, was in Las Vegas. Coincidence??? Actually, yes. I flew in to see Naked Boys Singing at the Jewel Box Theatre inside the Erotic Heritage Museum. They share the space with Puppetry of the Penis—but the puppets had the night off. I had to settle for five attractive and talented men singing some catchy songs that have a special place in my heart—no strings attached. My long history with the creation and original cast of Naked Boys Singing was discussed in a special episode of "Billy Masters LIVE" last year (season one, episode 41). So it makes sense that our fall premiere features four members of this Vegas cast. David Hernandez (a "BML" veteran), Matthew Ludwinski, Chris Salvatore and Marcus Terell will join us Thursday, Oct. 21, at 3 p.m. ET/noon PT on BillyMasters.com/TV or at YouTube.com/BillyMastersTV. We'll also be airing a world-premiere video from the show—you won't want to miss it.
Does every superhero have to have gay tendencies? Not that I'm complaining. Sure, they've got perfect, rippling bodies that they exhibit in form-fitting spandex, Lycra or some other kind of fishnet stocking. But I'm sure some straight guys could fall into that category—although none immediately spring to mind. The latest superhero joining our ranks is Superman. No, not the classic Superman. We're talking about Jon Kent, the son of Clark Kent and Lois Lane. Funny: I always thought he was Superboy—but I suppose that's a moniker that doesn't have a long shelf life. Here's what DC Comics said: "Following a scene where Superman mentally and physically burns out from trying to save everyone he can, Jay is there to care for the Man of Steel." Jay is Jay Nakamura, a longtime friend of the superlad. The twosome share a kiss next month.
Since I'm showing off my foreign tongue, let's turn our attentions to Timothee Chalamet. While doing a profile for Time magazine, a reporter asked about his Call Me by Your Name co-star, Armie Hammer. In the latest chapter in Armie's tragic downfall, he's under investigation for sexual assault. Timothee graciously, but firmly, skirted the issue: "I totally get why you're asking that. But it's a question worthy of a larger conversation, and I don't want to give you a partial response."
Lastly, Lance Bass and his husband Michael Turchin just had twins. While Lance had hoped that the babies would arrive closer to Halloween, Violet Betty and Alexander James were born Oct. 14. Congrats.
When Lance Bass is a daddy, it's definitely time to end yet another column. In the words of Judy Tenuta—it could happen! And if it does, it'll happen on BillyMasters.com—the site that always delivers the unexpected. Who knows? Maybe one of those Naked Boys Singing is Carl Nassib's special someone. You know I'll ask on "Billy Masters LIVE." In the meantime, you can send your questions along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before DC does a special crossover comic called Superman and Robin! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
