"like the song is literally about gay sex what y'all want me to do play the piano while baking a cake?"—Lil Nas X tweets a response to criticism of kissing one of his male dancers on the BET Awards. Call me crazy, but I think he hit the perfect balance—somewhere between a cooking demonstration on an Easy Bake Oven and a live sex show.
Frankly, I don't know where to begin. We've got so many stories jockeying for the position of lead story, and yet each of them has its pitfalls. If I talk about Meghan McCain quitting The View, you'll yawn and say, "It's about time." If I tell you about Queen Latifah coming out, you'll yawn and say, "It's about time." There is no pleasing you people. It's ironic because I'm pleasing dozens—nah, scores—of men in Provincetown at this very moment. While no one would dare yawn, they will certainly say, "It's about time!"
Meanwhile Queen Latifah decided that after years of either denying it or simply not addressing it, it was time to tell the world what we already knew. After being presented with BET's Lifetime Achievement Award, this is how she left the stage: "I'm gonna get off this stage, but I thank you so much for all of you: the fans for supporting every crazy-ass thing I've done through the years. And thank you for making Equalizer number one; Eboni, my love, Rebel, my love, Peace. Happy Pride!" Without too much fanfare (and just enough latitude to explain it away), she thanked her female lover and their son, and said Happy Pride—after thanking people for watching her show. Priorities.
On to Meghan McCain. One thing you have to understand is that the right person for the conservative role on The View is going to annoy you. And I don't mean like Nicolle Wallace or Ana Navarro—they are "Republicans in name only." I mean an actual Republican. Meg did not leave because of the fights (although the last one with Whoopi was a doozy). She gave notice after the brass said that all co-hosts are expected to be in the studio when the new season starts in September. Meghan's been living in DC during the pandemic and wants to stay there—so that's why she's leaving. Since Barbara's still looking for J. Fred Muggs (and some days, she finds him), I'll say it for her—"You're welcomed back any time."
Last week, "Billy Masters LIVE" finally welcomed Norman Korpi and Eric Nies to discuss The Real World Homecoming: New York. It took forever to arrange. Paramount+ did not want them talking to me while the series was airing. Shortly thereafter, Norman was busy. Then Eric was out of the country. Then he extended his stay in Peru. But we made it happen. It was an interesting talk about Nies getting COVID, how not being in the house was a blessing and a curse, and how the fight between Becky and Kevin changed everything. And, naturally, we talked about Norman's revived artwork—which you can get on NormanKorpi.com . In the middle of the show, a tornado was headed for Korpi's house—talk about drama! Meanwhile, Eric (IAmEricNies.com) continues his zen living in Peru, guiding people with ayahuasca trips, and telling one of our viewers that his sleep apnea could be repressed childhood trauma or stem from a past life! It was quite a show, so you should definitely watch "Billy Masters LIVE" on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.
By the by, I'm taking a couple of weeks off. As we close in on 100 shows, I need a little break. Well, from the show. After all, I'm having quite a social life … but that's another story.
Last week, Kataluna Enriquez was crowned Miss Nevada. What made this noteworthy is that Kataluna is the first openly transgender contestant in the Miss USA Pageant. She immediately took to social media to share the news: "Huge thank you to everyone who supported me from day one. My community, you are always in my heart. My win is our win. We just made history. Happy pride."
Speaking of labels, Tyler Posey just announced that he is not only "sexually fluid" but also "queer." The revelation came through, of all people, his girlfriend, telling NME: "She helped me realize that I fit under the queer umbrella and that I'm sexually fluid." Let that be an inspiration to all women out there who help men realize they're gay.
I can't answer all of your individual questions, but the most asked one last week was if I had the photos from Colton Underwood's nearly nude photo session with photographer Damon Baker and designer Nicola Formichetti. It's curious that a designer is credited, because there is very little clothing used (other than Colton holding a leather jacket in front of his nether regions). Obviously his body looks great, but one of us gays really must teach him about judicious grooming. Nothing serious, just a bit of pruning would be in order. In the meantime, you can see the fruits of his labors on BillyMasters.com .
When Colton's fruits are out of the loom, it's definitely time to end yet another column. You can see all this and more on BillyMasters.com—the site that has nothing to hide. I'm still in Provincetown cavorting with … well, who gets names? Frankly, it's been like a scene out of Caligula—but without the horse. If you'd like to horse around, drop a note to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before The View hires Kellyanne Conway as its newest co-host! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
