Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-06-09
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2021-03-29

This article shared 936 times since Mon Mar 29, 2021
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


"A little prick is better than no prick at all."—Billy Masters. Yes, that's my new motto when it comes to getting the vaccine. If the promise of a prick of any size doesn't entice you … you're reading the wrong column.

I hate to say I called it, but I called it—Sharon Osbourne has left The Talk. Left/pushed/fired … who knows? But she's out. In a situation that has had more twists and turns than Ratatouille (the film, not the yummy French stew), the sole remaining original co-host is history. But there's more: Several rumors are floating around CBS Studio City. Some people claim the network will use this situation as an excuse to axe the ratings-challenged talker. Another is that a newbie to the panel has designs on running the show. And a third is that creator and former moderator Sara Gilbert will be offered any amount of money to come back. Stay tuned.

There's other trouble in daytime. According to Nielsen (the ratings company—not Brigitte), Ellen has lost roughly 1 MILLION viewers! It bears noting that her season premiere back in September was the highest-rated episode in more than four years. Why? Because everyone wanted to see how Ellen would address the "toxic workplace" claims. They came, they saw, they tuned out. And the ratings plummeted. Troublesome times.

Recently, it was Portia DeRossi DeGeneres who was in trouble. You would already know this story if you were still watching Ellen. This is how DeGeneres opened her show recently: "How was everybody's weekend? Anybody else have to rush their wife to the emergency room for an appendectomy? Anybody? No? Just me?" Yes, just her.

One night, the couple went to bed early. Ellen awoke to find Portia "on the floor on all fours." My first thought was DeRossi was in the mood for a spirited game of leapfrog—because, I must confess, I'm not well-versed in the art of lesbian sex. Turns out, it was neither sexual nor amphibial. Ellen drove Portia to the hospital, but couldn't go in with her due to COVID restrictions. The next morning, she got a call that they'd have to slice Portia open. Bing, bang, boom—appendix out. See all the excitement you miss when don't tune in?

I know you were all watching "Billy Masters LIVE" with special guest Christopher Atkins. I had no idea the whole show would be about penises! Flaccid penises, semi-erect penises and lots of talk about—you guessed it—penises (with numerous visual aids). When preparing for the show, I watched a whole lotta Christopher Atkins, to the point that my carpal tunnel started flaring up. Turns out, he's done loads of full-frontal work, which you know I brought up—and which you can see on BillyMasters.com . We also discussed memorable moments in his past, present and future—which includes writing, directing and reality. And ghosts! Oh, and a juicy story about Gina Lollobrigida! I kid you not. Check it out on our YouTube channel Billy Masters TV or on BillyMasters.com/TV.

Believe it or not, it's our anniversary. Our first official episode was on March 31, 2020. Time flies—in quarantine! So on Thursday, April 1, we've got another episode ripped from the headlines. Have you been following the story of Mack Beggs? He's the trans male wrestler who is fighting for his right to compete against men and not women. Mack will be our special guest, so definitely tune into "Billy Masters LIVE." 'Cause if we're there, we're live.

You may have heard that members of the cast of Glee will reunite to pay tribute to Naya Rivera. However, one person who most certainly will not be in attendance is Lea Michele. Lea and Naya had what could politely be referred to as a combative relationship—and by "combative," think Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. The question is not whether she didn't want to appear—it's if she was asked NOT to. My sources tell me that several members of the cast made it clear—if Lea's involved, they wouldn't participate. But she's more than welcome to watch the GLAAD Media Awards on April 8 at 8 p.m. Eastern on its YouTube channel (or at 10 p.m. on Hulu).

Could it be that this oft-tossed-about himbo is willing to bend over backwards (and forwards) to ensure his show's success? So say people in the know who claim the scruffy stud is glad for the gig and very effusive with his "gratitude." You know who loves that? Producers. And producers' husbands. Often together. That means juggling a lot of balls. Alas, not all guest spots translate into a hit show. Remember, he's been down this road repeatedly, and it's a grizzly business. Sometimes your best work (or all your work) ends up on the cutting room floor.

When truth is bigger than fiction, it's definitely time to end yet another column. If you saw "Billy Masters LIVE," you already know the big news—I got my first dose of the vaccine. It wasn't much of a prick but, as I said earlier, better than no prick at all. If you are prick-free, you can check out a bunch of them on BillyMasters.com—the site that'll give you something to howl about. If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I find someone next to my bed on all fours! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 936 times since Mon Mar 29, 2021
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-07-19
"No excuses—I messed up. I'm a big sports fan. I'm like the guy at the end of the game who misses a free throw or a kick."—Spike Lee explains why he prematurely announced the winner of ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Judy Gold, Provincetown and more
2021-07-12
"I don't know. I just … I think I'd be good at it."—The fabulous Jennifer Coolidge explained why she would like to come back as a gay man. If reincarnation exists, I'd like to come back ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-07-05
"like the song is literally about gay sex what y'all want me to do play the piano while baking a cake?"—Lil Nas X tweets a response to criticism of kissing one of his male dancers on the BET Awards. Call me ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-06-28
"Ballet dancers and hairdressers and drag queens made it safe for football players to come out and not the other way around."—Dan Savage puts Carl Nassib's coming out into the context of those who came before ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-06-21
"I like dick. 'Are you gay?' Where've you been? I'm REALLY gay. I love it. I love being gay. Happy Pride everybody." —Adam Lambert's response when someone on social media asked if he's gay. Asked and ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-06-14
"Now, therefore, I, Joseph R. Biden Jr., President of the United States of America … do hereby proclaim June 2021 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Pride Month. I call upon the people of the ...


Gay News

FIVE WORTH FINDING: Rainbow Soap, Billy Porter, Honey West and more
2021-06-12
— Soap Distillery's Rainbow Soap (SoapDistillery.com): To help celebrate Pride Month, many businesses are offering rainbow versions of their products—and Chicago's Soap Distillery is no exception. A portion of proceeds ...


Gay News

MUSIC Adam Lambert, Billy Porter, Demi Lovato part of 4th Annual Stonewall Day
2021-06-07
On June 6, Pride Live held the 4th annual Stonewall Day event—a global campaign to elevate awareness and support for the Stonewall legacy and the continuing fight for full LGBTQ+ equality. This year, Pride Live teamed ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-06-07
"This is to announce my retirement from touring and from working in the record business. I've gotten older and I'm tired. So it's time for me to hang up my nipple tassels, having truly given my ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-05-31
"I will never trust pants again!"—Lil Nas X on his wardrobe malfunction on Saturday Night Live. To see the incident—and Lil's commentary—check out BillyMasters.com. We have a Memorial Day tradition ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-05-24
"I really thought I'd arrived when I did Leprechaun."—Jennifer Aniston to Howard Stern, in an oldie but goodie interview. If she'd be up for a remake, perhaps they could enlist the aid of Peter Dinklage. Billy ...


Gay News

MOVIES/TV Billy Porter reveals he's been HIV-positive for 14 years
2021-05-19
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, award-winning actor/singer Billy Porter (TV's Pose) revealed he's been living with HIV for almost 15 years, NBC News noted. "This is what HIV-positive looks like now. I'm going to ...


Gay News

Billy Masters on Lil Nas X, masks and more
2021-05-17
"At first I felt a sense of responsibility. But now I kind of just don't care. It's not my job. Of course I want to spread good ideals, but I'm not nobody's parents. At the end of the day, I'm just ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-05-10
"My friends are leaving California. My hangar, the guy right across, he was packing up his hangar and I said, 'Where are you going?' And he says, 'I'm moving to Sedona, Arizona. I can't take it ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-04-26
"Then I heard about a thing called summer stock. I had done some plays, and I auditioned for this company in Coeur d'Alene, and I got in. And the first production was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. And I think I ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.