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  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2021-02-22

This article shared 422 times since Monday
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"Life is about building bridges, not walls."—Elton John, when criticized for performing at Rush Limbaugh's 2010 wedding. Something I say all the time might have also been a good response: "A gig's a gig."

Rush Limbaugh is dead. I can't say this is a story I got excited about; I was far more interested in Ted Cruz doing the limbo, but that's just me. Make no mistake—I was no fan of Limbaugh (or Cruz, for that matter). Then again, I never listened to Rush (or Cruz, for that matter). Knowing the hatred Rush spewed, I wasn't surprised at the hatred he provoked. But I do find it fascinating when someone's demise gives so many such glee—as if it really changes their lives. If it brings you happiness, great. If I don't care for someone, I don't give them much thought.

Onto another death—the CBS show Mom. Yes, CBS has announced that the much-lauded sitcom will wrap at the end of this season. This one hurt. Why? Because this cancellation gives the impression that a great show with a great cast could not make it without the comic stylings of Anna Faris—the woman who sank Overboard. Are you telling me that Chris Pratt could go on without Anna, but Allison Janney can't? Oh, the humanity…

Here's one of those things that would only happen to Billy Masters. I had to drop something off at my sister's house in a suburb north of Boston. To avoid some traffic, I zigged and zagged and ended up in Lowell, where I came upon a hubbub. Never one to turn down a hub (or a bub), I ignored my GPS and drove toward the cluster. And who do I run into? George Clooney! I slowed down, he looked up. I waved, he waved. And life went on.

Massachusetts has long been a favorite location for film productions. Last month, the Provincetown Select Board gave Ryan Murphy permission to shoot in our little seaside enclave. This is a rarity for Ptown, but Murphy had lots of things in his favor—starting with the fact that he owns property in Ptown. He even got married on the beach. And then there's been that pesky pandemic. In a town that depends on tourism, the coffers for the past year have been lower than usual. Enter "Pilgrim"—which is the name on Murphy's permit. Given that my spies tell me the cast includes Kathy Bates, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson and Lily Rabe, I think we can assume this is season 10 of American Horror Story. We're also told many residents of the Outer Cape will populate some minor roles. With the hotels and restaurants getting unexpected income during the off-season of an off-year, I call this a win/win.

Last week was a big one on "Billy Masters LIVE"—and that's not the first time the words "Billy Masters" and "big" appeared together. Last Tuesday, we celebrated the life of Mary Wilson and The Supremes with some pretty great guests—including performers Darlene Love, Ruth Pointer, Freda Payne and Scherrie Payne. But it lastThursday's show that surprised me. Eric Roberts has been a respected actor for decades; in fact, he holds a record for the American actor with the most film credits … ever, at 596 as of today. Eric and his wife, Eliza, joined us for over 90 minutes of in-depth discussion about his career and his iconic roles—including playing Gregory Harrison's lover in It's My Party. Sherri Shepherd even popped in to reminisce about the ABC sitcom Less Than Perfect. I was joined by my frequent sidekick, NECN political contributor Sue O'Connell. It's definitely worth checking out on our YouTube channel Billy Masters TV. Or just watch it on BillyMasters.com/TV.

Should you want a sure-fire way to get my attention, run a headline that names anyone going under the knife for a "paralyzed penis and anus." In this case, the person in question is Nicholas Brendon. He has been conspicuously absent from all the controversy regarding the "toxic workplace" that allegedly was the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. When specifically asked, Brendon revealed that he's been recovering from spinal surgery, which has had some complications. He said, "My anus is kinda paralyzed and so is my penis, which is weird. I gotta sit down to piss because I don't know if I'm shitting or pissing"—which is ever-so-slightly more than I needed to know.

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Paul in Rhode Island: "I heard that Charles Melton was posing nude for some ad that's only gonna air in Europe. Could you track it down?"

Let's first remind the readers who Charles Melton is—he plays Reggie on Riverdale. (He's actually the second Reggie.) The model/actor also has a mighty toned torso. Alas, the ad in question is not a commercial—it's a photo spread for Dolce & Gabbana. And "spread" is the correct term. I'm not exactly sure what he's modeling, because he's fully naked. In one shot, he's clinging to a column and showing his assets to the camera. In another, he's perusing a bookcase. Once again, a gig's a gig, and an ass is an ass, which you can check out on BillyMasters.com .

When Reggie's using his junk as a bookmark, it's definitely time to end another column. That's both a good place for a stick-up and a nasty place for a paper cut. Cut or uncut, everything shows up on BillyMasters.com—the site with loads of columns for Melton to lean against. Should you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I run into any more actors—and I do not mean in the Halle Berry way! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


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