Wade Rouse, Saugatuck resident and author of America's Boy and At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream, is back with another collection of uproarious essays—It's All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays and 50 Boxes of Wine.
Tethered to yearly celebrations we are all forced to endure ( anniversaries, birthdays, Thanksgiving ) , as well as occasions especially near and dear to the Rouse clan ( Oscar night, the Miss USA Pageant, Arbor Day ) , Rouse reminds us of all of the ways we love, humiliate, frustrate, and forgive one another—especially family members—365 days a year.
Rouse, often referred to as "the sexy Sedaris," opened up to the Windy City Times about his new collection of comic essays; book-tour horror stories; and how Chelsea Handler and her dog Chunk are involved with his new, forthcoming "pet" project—a dog anthology.
Windy City Times: Wade, talk a little about how your new memoir is different than all the other family-holiday memoirs crowding bookstore shelves.
Wade Rouse: This memoir is totally universal. I mean, what person can't relate to this book? We all share our family stories and holiday dysfunction with friends, neighbors, co-workers, therapists.
Really, though, this is the first "all-holiday" memoir, one not just focused on Christmas, but on 34 holidays throughout the year, including the traditional and, well, the not-so- [ traditional ] . I cover Easter, Fourth of July, birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, but I also cover the odd holidays, like Arbor Day, St. Patty's ( all about Chicago! ) , Secretary's Day and Pez Collectors National Convention Day.
Really, holidays are our "memory moments" and yet [ they can be ] the toughest times for many families and for many gay people. On the surface, this looks like an essay collection, but I put great thought into which holidays and why, so the narrative flow is like that of a full memoir, one that ebbs and flows, and has incredible humor and impact, so that by the end of the book, you feel as if you've lived in the Rouse House your entire life. I think holidays are like Campbell's soup: They are life, condensed.
WCT: As you just mentioned, It's All Relative also lampoons non-traditional holidays like Barbie's birthday. Does [ Rouse's partner ] Gary mind that you've told the entire world that he "believes Barbie is his baby?" Or is he accustomed to your writerly shenanigans at this point?
WR: Gary does believe that he birthed Barbie ( well, all 20 of his Barbies—even his new Thanksgiving Barbie ) out of his mangina. Nothing embarrasses Gary, or really, any of my family—which is truly amazing. Gary lets me write about him without edit, which is the biggest blessing in the world, although, I must say we've had our touchy moments ( especially in my first memoir when I intimated he didn't know what "parched" meant— which, by the way, he didn't ) . That's the tricky part about memoir: You're writing about those you love most, often in a very unflatteringly honest light. But, Gary is the most honest person I've ever met, and such honesty doesn't make him flinch. He welcomes it. I think it's hard because people expect him to be constantly flighty, for instance, or outrageous 24-7, but readers must remember that I'm writing about only a piece of our lives.
One of the things I'm most proud of is writing about my relationship with Gary. I'm one of the few gay authors who really writes in-depth about his relationship: The beauty, the horror, the trials, the love that all couples experience. My last memoir, At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream, was a Today show Must-Read and featured in USA Today, and the mainstream press really celebrated how I depicted my relationship of nearly 15 years. I want to be a role model for not only for the LGBT community but for straight people, too. My parents, Gary's parents, all of our grandparents, were married for over 50 years, and they worked their asses off to make their relationships thrive. They are my role models, and I want to show the world that we have a true marriage, no matter what society may think.
WCT: What is your favorite thing about touring behind a new book?
WR: Touring is a bit like being an actor and talking about your movie: In both instances, it's a project you likely completed a year and a half or two ago; you're in the midst of new projects; and you have to revisit the old work, which is the new work in the public's mind.
Thankfully, I'm an author that loves to tour, read his work and meet his fans and readers. It's a part of my job that I adore, and I'm glad, because it's a requirement to be an author today. Unless you're a Franzen, the days where you can just sit at home and write, and do nothing to promote are long over. You have to meet and greet, and blog and build your brand, even interpretive dance. Many authors are one-and-dones because they don't promote, or feel it's beneath them, not author-y. But, you can have the most amazing product in the world, and if people don't know about it, it's doomed. Publishers have cut their workforce, like everyone, and a publicist has a ton of books on her plate at any given time, so you must take a lot of it on yourself.
WCT: Writers often have favorite horror stories from their time on the road promoting a book. What are yours?
WR: I have loads of strange signing/touring stories—a guy once in St. Louis swore he went to high school with me, but I couldn't remember him ( or, later, find him in any yearbook ) . He told Gary, "I know Wade better than you ever will!" Which, to me, is code for "He's going to end up in my trunk without pants and with a lot of duct tape around his mouth." At the end of the event, he was waiting outside the doors and began to follow us. We alerted security, who asked him if he needed help to his car.
There was also the guy who walked up and said, "Draw a kitty cat!" When I asked why, he said, "Because I love kitty cats, and no author has ever said no!" He was sweating and laughing like Paul Lynde, and was clutching something in his pocket. So I drew this hideous cat ( I cannot draw —a first-grader draws better than me ) with an arrow pointing to it, beside which I wrote, "My pussy." He was not amused. But I was.
WCT: You'll be doing a couple of readings/signings in Chicago on Feb. 9 and 10. You boys live just outside of Saugatuck, so I imagine you and Gary visit Chicago fairly often.
WR: We head to Chicago a lot still, either as part of work ( book signings, lectures, writing workshops ) , or just when we need a few days in the city to shop, or catch a show. Typically, we stay either with friends ( publishers love it when you save them a buck or two ) , or Random House puts us up at Sax Chicago or The Majestic.
We usually do hit Boystown one night; we always eat at a new restaurant, and we always try a new coffeehouse. The one thing we always try and do is find a new neighborhood to explore, and we also wander Michigan Avenue. Gary and I always like to run [ along ] the lakeshore—no matter the temperature—when we're there, and we always hit Unabridged Books or The Book Cellar.
WCT: I hear you have a few, as you call it, "dirty Chicago secrets" that you partake in while in the Windy City.
WR: When I'm tired, we order a stuffed pizza and eat it like wild dogs in our hotel room. And, Gary must, must, must order at least one giant mixed bag ( caramel and cheese ) from Garrett's to eat in Chicago, and then one to eat as we drive home, or to our next tour stop. Usually, after an hour with Garrett's popcorn, it looks like we've both been shot in the mouth and killed with our bare hands. It's humiliating. I heard a clerk in a chi-chi shop once mumble, as we entered, downing the corn, "F#@&ing tourists!" And, I yelled, spewing corn, "I'm a proud Chicagoan and, just for that, I'm gonna touch everything in here that's white!" God, I love Chicago. But, I will always be a die-hard [ St. Louis ] Cardinals fan—sorry.
WCT: What do you think is the biggest misconception of you?
WR: Misconception? That I want to be Sedaris. I don't. We're both funny and gay, but totally different. When critics constantly compare me to him, they're being lazy. That's like always comparing Reese Witherspoon to Mae West—simply because they're blonde, straight, female actresses. Give me a break. Think for yourself.
WCT: Reveal something about yourself that might surprise your readers.
WR: I lost 120 pounds. While I was in the closet, I ate nonstop. Now, I'm an exercise nut ( many critics now call me "the sexy Sedaris" ) . Running and working out keep my sane and balanced, free my mind to be creative, while also stopping it from spinning constantly.
Also—I had no connections in publishing. I was discovered in the "slush pile," meaning my letter and manuscript were chosen from a bin of thousands by my great literary agent. I believe if you have talent, a unique voice, skin of steel, incredible determination and ability to take rejection while wanting to change the world, you can make it.
WCT: Your next project is titled I'm Not the Biggest Bitch in the Relationship"—which sounds like a book on dating for gays but it's actually a dog anthology.
WR: Best. Title. Ever. Right? Yeah, "Bitch" is a humorous dog anthology I created and am editing, which will be published in November from NAL/Penguin. I always wanted to do a book about our dogs ( Gary and I have two rescue mutts, Marge and Mabel—we like sturdy, old-school, grandma names for our pets—who are the loves of our lives ) that was in my humor brand: sarcastic, edgy, hilarious, a book that was sort of the anti-Marley-and-Me, a book that made folks laugh, had no tragedy and was about the fact that most owners are more neurotic than their dogs. I also wanted to do something that helped shelters/charities. So, I came up with "Bitch," and worked my pretty little tail off to assemble a great group of hilarious writers and comics to contribute essays about their dogs, and their relationships with them. I then reached out to the Humane Society of the United States [ HSUS ] , which jumped on board and is backing the project tremendously. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the HSUS as well as contributor charities and shelters.
Chelsea Handler's dog, Chunk, "wrote" the foreword, and it is amazing. And I have 11 New York Times best-selling authors on board ( including Chicagoan Jen Lancaster, Laurie Notaro, Rita Mae Brown, Jill Conner Browne, Jane Green, Beth Harbison, Caprice Crane ) ; great comics, like Alec Mapa; and even a Tony winner ( Jeff Marx, who co-created AVENUE Q ) . This anthology is amazing, and I'm so proud of it.
Wade Rouse will be giving a reading, talk, Q&A and signing at the Harold Washington Library, 400 S. State, on Wed., Feb. 9, at 6 p.m. and at The Book Cellar, 4736 N. Lincoln, on Thursday, Feb. 10, at 7 p.m.
