By Suzanna Danuta Walters $14.87; New York University Press; 316 pages
Tolerance is a good thing, right? How could it be a trap? Walters—who is director of women's, gender, and sexuality studies and professor of sociology at Northeastern University—believes that the LGBTQ community all too often limits its vision to gaining access and to repealing repressive laws. We then look at any victories as acceptance into mainstream society, and settle for that. Walters argues we thereby constrict our future to a much narrower path than it need, or should, be.
"What should the queer future look like?" Walters nudges us to imagine. She pushes us to consider this idea: "What would it be like for [an] America … [that] values the challenge and rewards offered by social and sexual difference?"
"Tolerance is not the same as freedom," the author further states. Freedom to do what? Set a higher bar leading to substantive change that enriches all of society, she argues. Examples? She presents some, maybe not enough: encourage schools to reconsider whether dividing kids by gender is a good idea, push toy stores not to divide their product by gender roles, and urge families to construct new forms of kinship. These are some ways she cites for how we can act to achieve full inclusion. More importantly, she urges us to imagine the kind of future we want and then gently nudges us to do something to make it happen. Mostly, The Tolerance Trap presents her arguments. It is not a grating rant for activism.
The book dutifully includes a bibliography and notes to support the author's arguments. But this is not your typical academic tome. On the light side, The Tolerance Trap is liberally sprinkled with quotes from noted commentators on the scene such as South Park, Lady Gaga, Karen Williams, Barney Frank, and Honey Boo Boo. Walters also shares personal anecdotes, from her coming out story to her sperm-induced pregnancy and experience of raising a child as a single lesbian mom. Her writing style is light and accessible.
The Tolerance Trap is organized in three sections. Walters begins by describing a recent shift she has noticed in coming-out stories. Same-sex sexuality is easier, more fluid and more concentrated on acts than asserting a state of being, as it used to. Also, the shame and self-loathing associated with coming out is much diminished from what it used to be. She does say, however, that mainstream society still puts pressure on what coming out should look like ( what straights will tolerate ). Images of folks who are coming out must look "normal" so as not to make straight society uncomfortable.
In the section "Do These Genes Make Me Look Gay," Walters takes on the choice versus biology arguments. She boldly puts forth the idea that when we support the born-gay thesis, it makes it easier for straights to say we just can't help ourselves. Straights can then more easily put aside their thoughts about what we do. This then makes it easier for them to tolerate us. But, Walters contends, if sexual desires and choices are seen as fluid and complicated ( and therefore heterosexuality is not a default norm ), it "… would perhaps open up the door to a wider variety of sexual expressions and choices." More openly gay people could be positive role models for those struggling with their own sexuality. Walters concludes this section by stating, "It's not our genes that matter here but rather our ethics."
In "Citizen Gay," the author tackles what full citizenship entails—not only insistence on equal treatment but fighting for full inclusion. Walters claims that "…the framework of tolerance actively prevents the development of a more inclusive and powerful sexual and gender freedom." Tolerance makes us complacent.
Fun, provocative, and future-directed, The Tolerance Trap is a must read. Get a copy to stimulate your own thinking about the kind of LGBTQ future you want. Get a second copy for all your straight friends and family. We can all benefit from thinking outside the box of tolerance and into a free-ranging exploration of the possibilities for a society that enriches and celebrates everyone.
