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BLACKlines: New Year
by Chat Daddy

This article shared 3917 times since Thu Dec 1, 2005
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Here we are at the close of another year! 2005 has come and gone so quickly that it seems like I was wishing you a happy new year just one issue ago. With the closing of a year and the beginning of another, we must learn not to continue to bring things with us from one year to the next. There are few things that I consider to be essentials that we must all continue to culture, motivate and enhance in our life. First would be communications. So many of us in this day and age lack personal communication style and skills.

Communication is a key factor in giving and receiving the responses of who you are and the people you want to attract to you. Second is knowledge. Broaden your horizons as much as possible. Learn as much as you can as often as you can. This can be something as small as spiritual awareness of self or how to increase your financial gain by using your natural talents and resources. Third is positive attention. Give everything you do positive attention. Most people tend to dwell on the negative aspects of their lives and social situations. It is so important that we as a people learn to think and grow rich in positivity. As you prepare for your new year, make a resolution and promise that would make you truly happy about who you are and why you exist. The more you do for self, the richer you will be to those around you. Have a wonderful holiday season and a prosperous new year. Live, Love and Enjoy your life!

On to the mailbag

Dear Chat Daddy:

I've recently grown apart from a very close friend. I'm a very firm believer that friends should nurture one another, but for some reason or another I don't get the same nurturing from her. I love my friend dearly, but I think she is going through some really serious issues. She tends to focus on those who have hurt or disappointed her in the past. Should I leave this friend alone, hoping she will come around, or what? Please give me some advice.

— Breathing Space

Every friendship goes through funky stages. Often times this will include moments of awkwardness and feelings of abandonment. This is very common in relationships. All friendships must experience the good, bad, bitter and sweet. Before you and your friend totally break off what has meant so much to you both in the past, try talking to your friend, and expressing your thoughts and desires of how your friendship can truly weather the storm. Remember the old saying: 'If you love someone set them free, and if it's meant to be they will return back to you'. A true friendship is really hard to find.

Dear Chat Daddy:

I'm a 40-year-old male from the far South Side of the city. I'm in search of happiness. I have a really great job, a big house and a nice body, but still have yet to find happiness. I feel as if I'm lost in a sea of emptiness. Should I see a doctor or maybe just run from it all? Give me some advice?

— Accepting Self

Dear Accepting Self:

Brother I've been there, done that ... We all at some point in life feel as if we are in search of some type of happiness. Try looking to your savior for your answers and comfort. Most of us go through life seeking things that stimulate us and we end up with nothing. We as people have never taken the time to really get to know ourselves. I've been there like so many other people, overworked, trying to make ends meet, bad relationships, over-indulging in sex, food, alcohol, and even drugs ... always looking for something to make us feel good. Two years ago I chose happiness. If I fail at this point, I can at least admit I was happy with my mistakes I've made. Stop wondering about what could have been. Since making happiness my personal choice in life, I feel as if I live a much richer life. From this day forward do what makes you happy. It is most important that you express your thoughts and feelings to those around you, that you love most. Letting them know that you are concerned about your state of being. Seek counseling if needed, and try to live one day at a time without putting too much stress on yourself. I wish for you what I've learned through my trials and tribulations—no one else can please you like you can please yourself.

Dear Chat Daddy:

Recently I told my girlfriend I'd like more sex from our relationship. She agrees she'd like to have more sex, too. But somehow it has not happened. We both work and go to school full time. How can we get back on track?

— Lover Girls

Dear Mr. Lover Man,

I'm not a sex therapist, but I think I just might have a few good tips for you and your girlfriend. For working couples, especially those with very demanding jobs and/or children, 'FATIGUE' is often a mood killer. One way to have more sex is to schedule it. I know this does not sound sexy, but think of it as making a reservation for a trip to 'paradise'. It gives you both something to look forward to. Or try connecting once a day even if for only 30 minutes for some one-on-one time. If you want more sex, you have to keep your lines of communications open and that takes a daily commitment.

I wish you everlasting passion.

Please feel free to visit my website @

This article shared 3917 times since Thu Dec 1, 2005
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