Who is Auntie Flo?
Auntie Flo is a nom de plume for two dykes who think it is time for a column specifically about dyke relationships. We have both been around the community for some time and, at this point, have seen plenty of the never-ending dyke-u-drama. So much drama that we have been able to identify patterns of behavior that, maybe if brought to light, will cease and desist. Or, perhaps if you see your current situation discussed in print, maybe you will listen to that gut instinct and tell your s.p.l.o.g. (spouse, partner, lover, otherhalf, girlfriend) or whatever that you need to talk because you just read Issue 5, Volume I of Auntie Flo.
In addition, we sort of see ourselves as the Emily Post for the dyke set. No, we will not be giving you suggestions on how to set a table, when to send a thank you note or whether you have to invite your annoying Uncle Al to the commitment ceremony. Rather, we hope to become a reference point for what is the appropriate dyke relationship decorum, or dykorum, if you will. For example, just how and when should you extricate yourself from the more-dead-than-roadkill relationship? Or, what is so wrong about killing time in a relationship until the next one comes along?
Obviously, neither the topics we cover nor the suggestions we make will be exclusive to the dyke set. However, our focus will be on the dynamics of two women in a relationship.
Why be anonymous?
A large number of our stories are based on the experiences of our friends and lovers, past and present. We both are known for being good listeners and for giving solid advice. We fear that, if we wrote under our own names, our font of knowledge would quickly turn into the well of loneliness. After all, who in their right minds would seek help if they thought they would end up in a column? Perhaps one day, when the jig is up and our friends have figured it out, we will reveal our identities. But for now, we wish to remain hidden behind the red super-hero apron of Auntie Flo.
Just as your Auntie Flo visits monthly, so will we. Maybe, if things go well, we will visit more often. Hopefully, your Auntie Flo is not cramping your style more than once a month.
Is A.F. an advice column?
No. While we will take suggestions from our viewing audience, neither of us wants to spend our time answering letters. What would we call the column then? Dear Labbyia?
Then what is the format?
Glad you asked. In each column, we plan to discuss the patterns of behavior that we have decided are the usual suspects at the core of dyke drama. And, we are working diligently to compile statistics to support our opinions on various issues and this is where you come in. At the end of our column, we will ask you to answer a question or two or tell us your tale related to the next month's topic. All names will be altered to protect us from your crazy ex-girlfriend.
How many dykes does it take to write a column?
In this case, it will take two. One of us is very conservative and the other is not. This will be patently obvious on certain issues and you will get to see both of our viewpoints. Hopefully, these differences will not lead to any fisticuffs and our friendship will remain intact. If not, we might have to accept 'the change' and re-name the column 'Hot Flashes.'