Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-09-01
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

Ask Chat Daddy
by Chat Daddy
2005-10-01

This article shared 3848 times since Sat Oct 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Congratulations to the entire Windy City Media Group Family and especially our beloved publisher, Tracy Baim, for seeing the need and understanding that there are many untold stories that have to be told through your outstanding media resources. I am privileged and honored to be a part of this family.

Happy 20th Anniversary!

Why has such a beautiful name caused so much grief. By now people around the world are familiar with the devastation that Miss Hurricane Katrina has caused. It has saddened me to no end to hear and to witness the destruction of so many people. As a journalist, I want to encourage my readers to do all they can to help those in need. People are in desperate need for items as simple as toothpaste, toilet tissue and personal hygiene products. There are some people who need medication and medical care just to survive day to day.

Somewhere there is someone who needs a kind word, thought or prayer just to survive his or her life changing in a blink of an eye.

Often times we forget how blessed and lucky we really are. Let's take the time to give unselfishly and unconditionally to so many of our people in need. In our own community there are plenty of social service agencies that are willing to help those affected by this major disaster. Even if you can't afford to donate money, you can do something as simple as cleaning out your closet, which will allow someone else to have clothes on their back and shoes on their feet.

Please join me Saturday, Oct. 8, 2005 as I host an evening of 'Helping People of Our Own ... Giving A Helping Hand Mixing and Mingling Party' at Café 917 located at 917 W. 79th St.

Café 917 is owned by one bad sister by the name of Liu Montsho. This sister has created an outstand place for us to come and enjoy ourselves on the South Side of Chicago. Let's hear it for a 'Family'-owned business. Doors open at 8 p.m. and we will party until ... . Food, Live DJ, Speed Dating. Admission is only $10 with your items ( gently used clothing items, can goods, toys, personal hygiene products ) for donation for the Hurricane Katrina victims.

Until next time, keep yourself focused on the most important thing in life ... Self!

Now on to the mailbag ...

Dear Chat Daddy,

I'm a 50-year-old male in great shape. I'm in search of ways to keep my penis working longer and stronger without using drugs and other numbing agents or devices. I don't have any problems getting an erection, but I'd like to be able to last a little longer.

Dear Standing Ovation,

The key to lasting long is mind over matter. It's not all about the little blue pill that can enhance in your desire to stand up stronger. There are plenty of natural things you can do. Try cardiovascular exercise, yoga, T'Chi or other distressing exercise. Exercise can contribute to better performance because it helps with releasing good mental alertness, helps you to achieve better balance and harmonizing physical energies and it will help burn off toxins in your body. Think of it as the little train that could ... keep saying to your self ... I know I can, I know I can! Whatever you do, please see your doctor. Make sure you get a checkup at least once a year. I wish you many more standing ovations. If all else fails, meet some hot young thang who will get your blood moving.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy,

I'm a 40-year-old African-American male, married, three wonderful children, well traveled, great job and living on the 'down low'. Yes, Chat Daddy, I have been living a double life for the past 10 years. I'm worried that my cover will be blown. I love my wife and family dearly but my male lover is my true stress reliever and he understands me for me. Many times I've thought about coming out, but you know how our people ( the Black community ) can be to gay men. I don't want to hurt my family, but it's time for me to come clean.

— Between a rock and a hard place

Dear, Rock and a hard place,

My first response to you is to pray ... you really need to prepare your heart, mind and soul for the decisions you truly need to make. Either you are 'in or out' of the closet, that is the bottom line in both relationships. You have a wife and children on one hand and a male lover on the other. This whole 'Down low' thing is driving me crazy. People have had same-sex urges as far back as the roman times, and throughout the ages of human existent. I guess it's trendy to have some type of 'lover' on the side. Well, brother I'm here to tell you that AIDS is on the rampage and it's taking victims in great numbers.

Have you been tested? This is most important. I'd like to convince you to seek counseling to come clean with your wife. Look at all you've invested into your relationship and family, let her make a sound choice in whether or not she wants to stay. Living in constant lying, hiding and secrets does nothing for one's moral character, and it doesn't help your loved ones either. Always remember that time will heal all wounds and hurt hearts, so get to work my brother.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy,

I'm a 36-year-old attorney from the Lincoln Park area of the city. A few months ago, I met a really cool guy out at Pride weekend. We have had what I consider a very open and honest relationship. He has taught me a few things and vice versa. I am invited to quite a few upscale events that I would very much like him to attend with me. Here's the problem Chat Daddy: My man is a thug. From braided hair to low-hanging jeans, Timberland boots and tons of tattoos. I'm sure you get the picture. He's always clean and neat, but I do need to dress him up a little for these events. How should I do this?

— Dress You Up In My Love

Dear Dress You Up In My Love,

Well, Mr. Hot Shot I got a man ... . Attorney, you'd be very surprised to know that most thugs are remarkably versatile in attire and attitude, when placed in certain social settings. Now, sit down and tell him that the two of you are going to go shopping to pick out a few things for him to wear to these events ( This might cost you a dime or two, but this is your boo! ) All men enjoy looking polished. This look may not be his daily look, but I guarantee you he will enjoy the look for special occasions.

My suggestion is to buy a two or three button black or chocolate brown blazers with a plain dress shirt, a nice pair of jeans ( fitted ) and some polished shoes. Voila, your new man!! Or, try a pair of flat-front dress slacks and turtleneck, a nice belt and some dress shoes, and there you have another look. Toss in a nice watch, some smell good and there you have a totally prepared man.

Because we all know that every thug needs a good man and every man wants a thug—watch your man at these parties.

— Chat Daddy

Please feel free to visit my website @ www.artchatdaddysims.com


This article shared 3848 times since Sat Oct 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

LETTER TO THE EDITOR Thanksgiving is a time to reflect 2021-11-24
- Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for a God that created us and loves us. The sins of racism, sexism, ageism and classicism are neoclassic examples of how we have fallen short. We have come ...


Gay News

VIEWS Young people need to listen to LGBTQ elders' intergenerational experiences 2021-11-20
- For one of my first Windy City Times assignments, I was lucky enough to spend nearly three hours interviewing longtime LGBTQ+-rights activist Michael O'Connor. As queer individuals living in Chicago in 2021, we had plenty in ...


Gay News

VIEWS Reporting on queers of color needs to investigate absence as much as presence 2021-11-19
- Earlier this month, I pitched a Windy City Times article that sought to explore how role playing games (RPGs), such as Dungeons & Dragons, enable queer people of color (QPOC) to explore their gender and sexuality ...


Gay News

VIEWS In defense of the word 'lesbian' 2021-11-19
- When I decided to come out to my mom, I wanted to wait until I could say the word "lesbian" out loud. But as I sat her down, I tripped over the long string of letters. "Mom, I'm gay," I blurted ...


Gay News

VIEWS Google and Chicago's segregated LGBTQ+ community 2021-11-19
- I was a little baby queer when I moved to Chicago last year. I come from a traditional, cookie-cutter Connecticut town where Vineyard Vines and Sunday school were the standards. So, for a LatinX queer person—who ...


Gay News

OP-ED The Black church was one of R. Kelly's enablers 2021-10-13
- The long-awaited justice for R. Kelly's survivors finally came last month when a New York federal jury found him guilty of racketeering and sex trafficking. For nearly 30 years, underage Black girls and their families have ...


Gay News

VIEWS Finding the Crossroads 2021-10-08
By Martha Miller - The first time I saw a psychic, I was 19 and my friend Sandy and I drove to Jacksonville to see an old woman who read cards. We were young and it was fun going to her old house where a ...


Gay News

TRAVEL Conde Nast readers select The Gwen as Chicago's best hotel 2021-10-05
- Conde Nast Traveler's readers have spoken—and their views of Chicago's hotels are distinctly different from those of another top travel publication. While Viceroy Chicago topped Travel + Leisure's readers' list of local spots to stay, ...


Gay News

SAVOR South Branch Tavern & Grille 2021-08-19
- Before taking a bite of anything at South Branch Tavern & Grille (100 S. Wacker Dr.; https://www.southbranchchicago.com/), patrons are likely to be impressed. The reason lies in the picturesque views surrounding the spot. Ensconced near some ...


Gay News

VIEWS U.S. Senators: It's time to act against anti-LGBTQ discrimination 2021-07-28
- Georgia has had the eyes of the nation on it for some time now. It's just over five years since people across Georgia braced themselves as lawmakers sent sweeping anti-LGBTQ legislation to the desk of then-Governor ...


Gay News

OP-ED Foreign drug pricing puts America's most vulnerable patients last 2021-07-03
By Guy Anthony - It's no coincidence that American companies led the charge to develop COVID-19 vaccines. Numerous policies—from strong patent protections to a welcoming immigration system—help ensure that the world's smartest scientists can ...


Gay News

Op-Ed: Elevating 'T' in LGBTQ: State government, transgender equity in 21st century 2021-06-28
By Illinois state Sen. Sara Feigenholtz - In recent decades, our laws, pop culture and morality have shifted dramatically for same-sex couples. Our LGBTQ+ neighbors are interwoven into the fabric of our communities now more than ever. We celebrate this recognition and indeed ...


Gay News

VIEWPOINT Pride at work 2021-06-23
- Pride Month is a chance for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ+) people to be proud and visible in a world that tells us not to be. Pride Month is a chance to celebrate and ...


Gay News

LETTER: Pride, a time for hope 2021-06-12
- Pride is so much more than a parade, a march or even a demonstration for the LGBTQAI community. In other words, this is an opportunity for us to celebrate our diversity among our various communities, and ...


Gay News

VIEWPOINT Tulsa Race Massacre reparations would begin the healing 2021-05-31
- When HBO's 2019 Watchmen series opened with the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre, and HBO's 2020 Lovecraft Country series closed with scenes from the riots, most Americans had never heard of the event—even Tulsans. On May 19, ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.