Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  WINDY CITY TIMES

Adoption-Link: Creating families
by Micki Leventhal
2010-01-13

This article shared 4533 times since Wed Jan 13, 2010
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


When navigating the adoption journey, many LGBT couples and individuals turn to Margaret Fleming and Adoption-Link, an individual and agency changing the meaning of "family values," and the face of society, one family at a time.

In 1981 Fleming, a clinical social worker and divorced mother of three adult children, was at a crossroads in her life, deciding between returning to school for a Ph.D. or adopting a child. At 45, she made a decision that shaped the rest of her life, and changed hundreds of others. "I had enough blond, blue-eyed children," said Fleming. "I didn't need any more. I wanted to provide a home to a child that needed me." That child was her biracial son Nathan, now an adult and father to his own adopted, HIV-positive child. Over the years, nine children were adopted by Margaret. Six children currently live with her, including three who are HIV-positive.

Making the personal political, Fleming founded Adoption-Link in 1992 with a mission "geared toward the needs of the African American community" and specializing in "placing African-American, bi-racial and multi-racial newborns." In 2002, Chances by Choice was added. This program works domestically and internationally to place children who are born HIV-positive into adoptive "forever families" ( due to advances in prenatal treatment, few HIV-positive children are now born in the U.S. ) .

Since its inception, Adoption-Link has provided an inclusive resource for LGBT couples.

"We chose Adoption-Link based on their openness to the LGBT community," said John Roark who, with husband Kevin Hicks, brought home baby Nathalie July 29, 2009. The Dayton, Ohio, couple, who have been together for 10 years and got married in Toronto in 2007, began exploring adoption in 2000. They were often greeted with judgmental attitudes. "A lot of doors were closed to us. There were other agencies that responded to queries with statements like 'You need to find God, you don't need a child'," explained John. "Adoption-Link never once stated any negativity. It was a perfect match." The Roark-Hicks family, who maintain a relationship with their daughter's birth mother, is planning a second adoption through Fleming's agency in a few years.

Adoption-Link has never turned down a birth mother and works with the woman to help choose a family that feels right for her child. Over the past 17 years, the agency has placed more than 800 children through the domestic adoption program, about a third into LGBT homes.

Entirely child-centric, Fleming has worked intentionally to alter the traditional adoption paradigm. "They find families for babies, not babies for families," explained Gail Vijuk. "That is what felt good to us about Adoption-Links. That is why we love them." Oak Parkers Gail and Barbara are moms to Gabriel ( 5 ) , Dean ( 2 ) and Henry ( 1 ) . All three boys, adopted through the agency, are African-American—Dean and Henry from the same birth mother.

All applicants undergo an intensive screening that includes economic capacity, physical and mental health, emotional stability and racial attitudes. Families adopting a child whose racial background is different from their own are required to complete the Bridge Communication Training in transracial adoption.

LGBT and hetero couples who become "forever families" through Adoption-Link share Fleming's attitudes toward multiracial families and cultural commitment to adoption.

"We wanted to be parents, we're not interested in furthering our DNA or having a child that looks like us. We wanted a child that needs a family and we were open to a variety of situations," said Alan Eaks, Daddy to Simon ( 4 ) and Gabriel ( 2½ ) , who came to Alan and his partner, Alberto Senior, from the same birth mother.

"From a value standpoint that is what really connected us to Margaret and Adoption-Links. She is not interested in people who want a certain kind of kid, she is looking for families who are open to the child that is presented to them," said Eaks. This Lakeview family has chosen an ongoing relationship with the boys' biological parents, other siblings and extended family. It is an arrangement that has enriched everyone's life immeasurably, Pappy Alberto explained.

Eaks and Senior have been together for seven years; becoming parents definitely changed the couple's social life. They now spend more time with other parents and children through the LGBT family network at Nettlehorst School, where Simon is in Pre-K. They also share their lives with adoptive parents—both hetero and queer—through Adoption-Link social programs. Ties with their own web of siblings and cousins have grown stronger, as they build additional family foundations for Simon and Gabriel.

Gail ( 42 ) and Barbara ( 38 ) Vijuk,have been together since 1995 and put together a "five-year plan" in 1998 that included Gail finishing graduate school, travel for the couple, and children. Gabriel, their eldest, arrived in 2003 "a couple of months ahead of schedule," laughed Gail. In 2005 they traveled to Gail's native Canada to get married.

"Part of the adoption decision was definitely about it being a 'sustainable' choice," said Barbara, who took Gail's last name to simplify things for the children. "I don't talk much about this—I am not judging other people. But I grew up in a family that had adoption in it and my mom was a big adoption advocate. I learned the values from her: the world already has a lot of people in it, let's take care of those that we have. Adoption has always, always been part of my life plan."

On May 14, Adoption-Link will hold its annual benefit, "The Reality of Hope." Further information is at www.adoption-link.org .


This article shared 4533 times since Wed Jan 13, 2010
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Family of 2004 murder victim holds event in Lake View; reward announced 2024-03-24
- The year 2004, for the family and friends of Lake View resident Kevin Clewer, will forever be marked by tragedy. On March 24 of that year, Clewer, 31, was found in his apartment at 3444 N. Elaine Pl.; he was the ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Dorothy Elizabeth McGroarty 2024-03-14
- Dorothy Elizabeth McGroarty, 82, of The Breakers at Edgewater Beach, and a former resident of Andersonville, passed away Feb. 16 surrounded by her loving family. Born in Dearborn, Michigan, Dorothy was raised on Chicago's South and ...


Gay News

UPDATE: Nex Benedict's death ruled a suicide; family responds 2024-03-13
- A medical examiner's report concluded that the cause of death of Oklahoma student Nex Benedict (he/they) was suicide, media reports confirmed. Benedict—a 16-year-old transgender student—died Feb. 8, a day after ...


Gay News

Ghana parliament passes harsh anti-LGBTQ+ bill 2024-02-29
- On Feb. 28, Ghana's parliament unanimously passed a controversial anti-LGBTQ+ bill that has been condemned globally. The so-called Human Sexual Rights and Family Values Act, which was introduced in the parliament in 2021, not only criminalizes ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Trailblazing judge and attorney Patricia M. Logue passes away 2024-02-26
- The Honorable Patricia Logue ("Pat" to her friends, Trish" to her family) was a brilliant lawyer, a trailblazing jurist and a hero to the LGBTQ community. Pat's legacy includes numerous landmark cases she litigated over her ...


Gay News

Unprecedented Alabama Supreme Court ruling undermins access to family-building healthcare, GLAD responds 2024-02-23
--From a press release - Feb. 23, 2024 (Boston) — Today, GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) issued the following statement from Polly Crozier, GLAD's Director of Family Advocacy, on the Alabama Supreme Court decision ...


Gay News

Center on Halsted to host trans youth & family summit 2024-02-19
- Center on Halsted, 3656 N. Halsted St., has announced that its Trans Youth & Family Summit 2024 will take place March 16. This year marks the sixth annual event, which partners between Youth Services' Pride Youth ...


Gay News

Lakeside Pride Wilde Cabaret Valentine's Day Feb. 17 2024-02-16
--From a press release - Lakeside Pride Wilde Cabaret puts their own spin on Valentine's Day with a show celebrating things done and sacrificed for love - not just romantic love, but love for pets, friends, family and art. Join the ...


Gay News

Quantum Leap reboot springs into LGBTQ+ representation 2024-02-09
- Through the magic of television, Quantum Leap is once again jumping into the past to bounce back into the future—and in a recent episode, "The Family Trasure," non-binary artist and performer Wilder Yuri and writer Shakina ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Paris Johnson 2023-12-29
- Paris Johnson, 29, of Chicago's West Loop neighborhood, passed away unexpectedly Nov. 28. He would have celebrated his 30th birthday Dec. 20. Born into a military family in Sacramento, California, Paris moved often in his youth, ...


Gay News

OPINION For LGBTQ+ children, the holidays are often the most challenging time of the year 2023-11-21
- Holiday time for most of us is a time to spend more time with family and loved ones, but for many children, it is a harsh reminder of their non-acceptance and thus, is all the more difficult as well. ...


Gay News

Club Q shooting survivors to speak at Chicago's Beer Culture Summit 2023-10-15
- Last November, Jessica Fierro traveled back to Colorado after speaking at the annual Chicago Beer Culture Summit. Just one week later, her family changed forever at Club Q, a gay nightclub in Colorado Springs. Her daughter's ...


Gay News

Reeling Film Festival chooses Family first for opening night 2023-09-24
- Reeling: The 41st Chicago LGBTQ+ International Film Festival kicked off a night of festivities with its first feature The Mattachine Family at Music Box Theatre on Sept. 9. One of the longest-running film festivals in the ...


Gay News

Chicago musician, producer and DJ Don Crescendo killed in Avondale stabbing 2023-09-20
- Chicago's LGBTQ+ nightlife community and allies have rallied around the family and close friends of local longtime musician, producer and DJ Rodney Donovan Taylor, a.k.a. Don Crescendo, in the wake of his death by stabbing last ...


Gay News

Queer parenthood explored: A transparent dive into surrogacy and hope 2023-08-29
By Matthew Schueller. Guest commentary for News is Out - I feel extraordinarily lucky. As a kid, I never imagined my life could look like this. Growing up in the closet in the mid-Willamette Valley of Oregon, an area many consider to be the conservative Bible ...


 


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.