Not often does a memoir come along that envelopes an entire community at one given point in time—all through the eyes of the author chronicling the core of his own life-altering experiences. Delicate Courage—A Memoir by Jim Geary does just that with love, compassion and apprehension.
To truly understand the scope of the HIV/AIDS virus in San Francisco at the time in which Geary began his community work, one must first learn a little bit about Geary.
As an inspired volunteer for the Catholic Peace Fellowship in Washington, D.C., then-18-year-old Geary found his voice and his gift for feeling, seeing and believing in the great unknown. The metaphysically inclined Geary would eventually serve as director at the fellowship before relocating to San Francisco in 1974. There, he began working closely with the dying as a nurse's aide in oncology. Operating with the insight that the last rite a dying patient craved was respect and care, Geary oftentimes spent hours at the bedsides of the ill and weak—helping them comfortably pass to the other side, even when their family members did not always agree in the letting go process.
While working in his chosen field and fine-tuning his grief counseling skills, Geary began to devote part of his life to political activism in San Francisco alongside Supervisor Harvey Milk and other gay-rights activists. The anti-gay Briggs Initiative, which sought to fire all gay and lesbian teachers in the state, as well as non-gay teachers who associated with them, was well underway at this time.
In 1978, Geary became involved with the Shanti Project in San Francisco offering emotional support for patients and family members who were facing life-threatening illnesses or were affected by them. Geary was promoted from volunteer to director of volunteer/client services. In 1981, Geary formed what was to be considered the first support group for individuals with AIDS in the world. The Shanti Project eventually lost funding in 1982, but Geary continued to work for no pay in order to keep the doors and services open and available for the community. He would serve as executive director for seven years.
Perhaps the most moving and relatable part of the entire memoir, for me, occurred by way of the personal letters printed on its pages. Geary not only opened up his heart for this passionate story, but also his personal journals. The reader is taken directly into the life of the subject and author as he navigates his way through failed relationships, the loss of friends and lovers, the AIDS epidemic gaining speed, and spiritual awakenings.
Here, we leave you with two excerpts from Delicate Courage—A Memoir by Jim Geary.
Excerpt: Why Not Me?
"An evening in January 1982 found me sitting alone in a San Francisco bar on Polk Street. As I listened to the piano music, I looked at the faces of the many men joined in song and talking to one another. I suddenly welled up with emotion and began to cry, as I wondered how many of these men would eventually be diagnosed with this damn disease. I asked myself, Why me God? Who am I to begin this task? There are certainly more qualified, capable people to move this organization forward.
"Quickly, the inner voice responded, Why not you?
"As I began to accept that truth, I began to see my life as a series of patterns and events that had prepared me to be exactly where I was: I was a gay man. I had worked with people with a life-threatening illness for ten years. I held a key position in a project that had already served as a model for many similar groups across the country. I began to realize that I had been guided all along to be exactly where I was in this moment.
"My tears of fear, grief, and despair gave way to tears of guidance, grace, and gratitude. I accepted the whole of myself more deeply that day than ever before. I walked out of that bar with an accepted mission and an increased awareness of my sacred link to my community and the awesome task that lay ahead.'"
Excerpt: Visual Experience
"Almost a year after Jess passed, I was watching a Cher special on HBO. Jess and I had seen Cher live and always enjoyed her as a unique personality and performer. The HBO special was recorded at the MGM hotel in Las Vegas. Just as Cher was about to begin her finale, I Believe, I saw Jess begin to materialize about fifteen feet away. I struggled to surrender to the brilliance emanating from his ascended state. It is hard to explain, but it was like suddenly coming face-to-face with a very spiritual being, such as Jesus or Buddha. How much of their magnificence could you let in?
"Jess was radiant; he was not completely formed, but I could see his face and luminous smile. Effulgent white light encompassed him, almost giving the impression of angel wings! Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks as I opened myself to his transcendent beauty and consciousness. I became aware that perhaps part of the reason it is so difficult to communicate with our loved ones after they pass is that we are in such different states of awareness. Perhaps our grief prevents us from perceiving the glory of their new life. I was full of gratitude that Jess had come to share himself with me in this manner. I was also very thankful that I had moved through enough of my pain to behold him in this light."
Geary shares his life with his lover, Jeff Allen, and their two Pomeranians Jasper and Benji. He is active in several spiritual groups including Quaker Worship, Course in Miracles, and The Way of Mastery. He has also been the recipient of numerous awards, including: Outstanding Community Service award presented by the Bay Area Physicians for Human Rights; San Francisco Chronicle's Hall Of Fame award; AIDS Atlanta Humanitarian award; and the prestigious UCSF Medal for extraordinary personal contribution to human health and well-being.
