The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Illinois is representing nine couples who are seeking the freedom to marry in their home state. (The organization joins Lambda Legal, whose 16-couple roster of clients was shown in last week's issue).
Names are listed left to right, corresponding to each individual's position in the photos. All photos courtesy of ACLU.
Carlos Briones and Richard Rykhus
Evanston couple Carlos and Richard reside in Evanston with their 7-year-old son, Ty'rith (Ty). A couple for eleven years, Richard and Carlos held a commitment ceremony in front of 120 family and friends in July 2005. "We wanted to tell the world that we are committed to one another," said Carlos. "It was important to make a statement that our love was permanent, lasting."
During a visit to Richard's parents a few months later, Carlos and Richard were married in Canada. Now, they make a point of calling one another "husband." "I think it is crucial for me to identify Carlos as my husband," says Richard. "The word 'partner' never has worked for me—it sounds so transactional. We are not in a business relationship. We are in a life-long committed relationship."
Carlos and Richard share a love of education. Recently, Richard saw that he could make a difference in the local elementary schools by running for the local school board; he was elected. Carlos teaches philosophy at a local college.
Ross "Randy" Walden and Robert "Bob" Carey
This couple resides in Springfield, where Randy works for the Army National Guard and Bob works for a major power company.
Bob and Randy had their first date at a local Mexican restaurant—a place they still frequent to this day. They soon will celebrate seven years together as a loving, committed couple. They share many interests together. They care for rescue dogs and cats and share a deep love of the outdoors, spending many weekends camping near Springfield and across the Midwest. Randy and Bob also are active in their local synagogue.
For Randy, meeting Bob was part of a process of recovery after he lost his long-time partner Curt to cancer. That experience made all too clear the harm that can arise from not having one's loving relationship recognized.
Lynn Sprout and Kathie Spegal
Champaign couple Lynn Sprout and Kathie Spegal are all about family. When their family gathered this past Easter, there were 22 children, grandchildren (aged from 22 to 6), spouses and guests.
Lynn is a registered nurse and works at a federally qualified health center. She met Kathie in October in 2001 at church, where Lynn was attending a support group after losing her long-time partner, Linda, after an extended illness. Linda's death was very difficult for Lynn. She lost her job at a local hospital after they denied family leave to care for Linda, and faced challenges to her ability to make decisions about Linda's body and have their family recognized in an obituary after Linda passed away.
"We are in love," says Kathie, a case manager. "We want to be married. That is what people in our family who are in love do."
Tanya Lazaro and Elizabeth "Liz" Matos
Tanya Lazaro and Elizabeth "Liz" Matos live on Chicago's far Northwest side with their two children, Jaiden (2), and a newborn daughter, Sophia. Since meeting more than 15 years ago, Tanya and Liz have built a life together, based on what they describe as their "shared values and a common commitment to one another and their family."
Tanya initially worked with Chicago Public Schools; however, she decided she wanted something that was "easier," so she joined the Chicago Police Department, where today she is a Detective in the Violent Crimes Unit. Liz, whose family is from Puerto Rico, works as a senior software analyst at a software company that supports trading firms in downtown Chicago.
Tim Kee and Rick Wade
Tim, a teacher, and Rick, an office manager, live in Marion; having been together for 15 years now, they are well-recognized and regarded in their hometown. Though they kept their relationship secret when it began, traveling to St. Louis and environs on their first several dates, they no longer try to hide that they are a couple.
For Rick and Tim, tradition and stability are critical. They live in a house built on land that was Rick's great-great-grandparents' homestead that was passed on to Rick by his grandmother, a house that they have made into their home. Among the values that Tim and Rick also have in common is their faith. They attend (and are active in) the church in Johnson City where Tim was baptized and confirmed.
On June 2, 2011, Rick and Tim went to the Williamson County courthouse to get a civil union. Since they were only the second couple to receive a civil union, the county clerk insisted on coming out to help them, saying that she needed to learn the forms and the process for herself.
Tanya and Kirsten Lyonsford
Aurora couple Tanya and Kirsten have known they were right for one another since almost the first moment that they met, during a September 1999 mandatory diversity training program for AT&T, for whom they worked at the time.
During a game called "Diversity Bingo," Tanya and Kirsten both chose the gay/lesbian box. That public revelation led to a date, a strong friendship and then a deeper relationship. In October 2002, Kirsten and Tanya held a commitment ceremony—a Christian wedding ceremony—including family, friends and colleagues. For Tanya, it was moving that her 84-year-old grandfather not only attended (even though he didn't know she was a lesbian until he got the announcement), but that he made a point of saying that he was there to represent Tanya's late grandmother. It was painful, however, that after that ceremony and all its joy, Kirsten and Tanya heard some say that their celebration was nice "but not legal."
"We are a family," says Kirsten. "We love one another. We love our children. We have built a life together where we are responsible to one another and for one another."
Ed Hamilton and Gary Magruder
Walk into the home that Ed Hamilton and Gary Magruder have shared (in fact, built together) in Plainfield, and one easily spots their shared passion. For example, the walls of the home are filled with art work that Gary painted.
They met at the party of a mutual friend in 1964 and began what Gary describes gleefully as a "courtship." Gary grew up in Kankakee County and spent time on his grandparents' farm as a youth, so he was impressed when Ed took him to the theater and to the opera. After a few months, they found an apartment together and remained inseparable.
Both Ed and Gary are retired educators, and both still love teaching and sharing their knowledge with others. At the urging of friends, Gary and Ed travelled to Canada in January 2004—on the 40th anniversary of their meeting—to be married. Gary smiles when talking about saving the lapel flowers from the wedding. They want their marriage, which is the pinnacle of their nearly half-century relationship, to be recognized in Illinois.
Tanya and Kirsten Lyonsford
Aurora couple Tanya and Kirsten have known they were right for one another since almost the first moment that they met, during a September 1999 mandatory diversity training program for AT&T, for whom they worked at the time.
During a game called "Diversity Bingo," Tanya and Kirsten both chose the gay/lesbian box. That public revelation led to a date, a strong friendship and then a deeper relationship. In October 2002, Kirsten and Tanya held a commitment ceremony—a Christian wedding ceremony—including family, friends and colleagues. For Tanya, it was moving that her 84-year-old grandfather not only attended (even though he didn't know she was a lesbian until he got the announcement), but that he made a point of saying that he was there to represent Tanya's late grandmother. It was painful, however, that after that ceremony and all its joy, Kirsten and Tanya heard some say that their celebration was nice "but not legal."
"We are a family," says Kirsten. "We love one another. We love our children. We have built a life together where we are responsible to one another and for one another."
Danielle Cook and Suzanna Hutton
When they first met, Suzanna Hutton and Danielle Cook could not imagine that they would be spending the rest of their lives together. Teachers in Bloomington, Ill., Suzie says that she and Danielle were almost "complete opposites." After more than a decade together, now they want to be recognized as married in their home state.
In June 2011, they entered into a civil union. However, Danielle and Suzie both feel that the civil union "falls short" of being married, sometimes because it is not respected and often because it is not understood by others. Suzie has noted, for example, that when she goes to a doctor's office, a dentist office or another professional service, she is exasperated by the forms she is asked to fill out. These forms ask the patients or customers to designate whether they are married, single, widowed or divorced—the expected and easily recognizable choices.
Maybe more troubling is that many people—even well-educated and well-intentioned people—don't always know how to react to someone with a civil union. In the schools where Suzie and Danielle both now work, teachers gather to welcome new staff and celebrate births and weddings; the couple had to resort to humor, describing the relationship as "civilized." "Our relationship status should not be the source of laughter," says Danielle.
Corynne Romine and Michelle Mascaro
Like a lot of couples in our busy society, Michelle Mascaro and Corynne Romine met at work—when they were both in a chaplaincy internship at Rush Presbyterian Hospital. Since that time, in early 1991, Corynne and Michelle have created a loving, giving relationship that now incorporates their three children, ages 14, 12 and 11.
"As our children mature, we are trying to teach them important life lessons about honoring relationships and respecting the family unit," said Michelle. "It is difficult to communicate a message about the importance of marriage when we are denied the right to enter into one."
Michelle and Corynne had a private celebration and affirmation of their love at their home in 1995. After making that commitment, they began a family, adopting the first of their three children.
After Illinois approved civil unions, Corynne and Michelle were not certain about seeking that status; they wanted to be married. After six months, on Jan. 6, 2012, Michelle and Corynne, along with their children, traveled to downtown Chicago to obtain a civil union. The date was significant to them; it marked the 20th anniversary of their living together as a couple. However, they don't feel their civil union is sufficient.
Corynne Romine and Michelle Mascaro
Like a lot of couples in our busy society, Michelle Mascaro and Corynne Romine met at work—when they were both in a chaplaincy internship at Rush Presbyterian Hospital. Since that time, in early 1991, Corynne and Michelle have created a loving, giving relationship that now incorporates their three children, ages 14, 12 and 11.
"As our children mature, we are trying to teach them important life lessons about honoring relationships and respecting the family unit," said Michelle. "It is difficult to communicate a message about the importance of marriage when we are denied the right to enter into one."
Michelle and Corynne had a private celebration and affirmation of their love at their home in 1995. After making that commitment, they began a family, adopting the first of their three children.
After Illinois approved civil unions, Corynne and Michelle were not certain about seeking that status; they wanted to be married. After six months, on Jan. 6, 2012, Michelle and Corynne, along with their children, traveled to downtown Chicago to obtain a civil union. The date was significant to them; it marked the 20th anniversary of their living together as a couple. However, they don't feel their civil union is sufficient.
